


Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

by Number8TheWriter



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, Guns, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mpreg, No Incest, Post-Canon, The Commission, Vomiting, Whump, luther is an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-01-23 13:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number8TheWriter/pseuds/Number8TheWriter
Summary: "At the Commission we have a saying, 'Que sera sera' or, what is meant to be is meant to be, however- there are times when a little friend by the name of 'Post hoc, ergo propter hoc' decides he wants a piece of the pie."Cha-cha's new childish partner leaned in closer to listen to the Handler's flowery language, hanging on every word as if it were gospel. It took everything in her being not to reach over and punch her new boss in the face."Do you two remember when a certain Hargreeves popped up in Vietnam in 1968?"





	1. Movement

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! When I originally started writing this, I didn't plan on it seeing the light of day, much less it growing to be a sprawling 72 pages and still going in my google docs. It may not be written well, as I have gone back and edited it, but there's only so much old eyes can see on their own work.
> 
> This is set in an Umbrella Academy where Allison was able to keep Luther from trying to tackle Vanya on stage and Vanya got to see a couple of her siblings finally come to her violin recital, so there is no time travel back to when they were thirteen. I've read both the comics and watched the series multiple times, so you might see me mixing canons in my writing here. Klaus' telekinesis will make an appearance! Just be patient, and please, sit back and enjoy!

By the time Vanya gained the courage to approach Klaus, it had nearly been five months. The baby began to show quickly, with how skinny his frame was.

However, over the past few months, her other siblings had become rather protective of her brother. They had stopped the apocalypse, and she had made great strides in improvement, but they were still weary. For once in her life, Vanya tried to believe their intentions were pure. There was no malice behind this separation of one of their most vulnerable siblings, from one of the most powerful.

She gets him right as he’s leaving the bathroom, hand resting gingerly on his baby bump. When he catches sight of her, Vanya is surprised to see Klaus is overjoyed.

“Vanya, heeeyy-- what’s up?” He asks, as if she didn’t almost destroy the moon.

“Are you alright?” She asked, the words coming out before she could really think of something else.

“Oh-- yeah. They’re just being restless is all.” Klaus looks down and gives his belly the sweetest look Vanya has ever seen him give someone or something, before looking up at her and saying; “Little shit makes me sick.” He snickered. THAT was the Klaus she knew and loved.

With an overdramatic groan and the flick of his head, her brother leads her into the foyer, towards the library and bar where he’d been sleeping. 

“Pogo and Mom keep telling me the-- ‘barfiness’ will go away.” He chuckles to himself, “Baby just likes tormenting me. _Ja?_ Don’t you _mein leibchen?_ ” He sits down on the couch with a deep sigh. “So what’s new with you Vanya? How’d you doop Luther into letting you come see me?”

“I uh--” Vanya worried her lip between her teeth, and her sleeve between her fingers, “I snuck around him?”

Klaus let out a laugh, “You snuck around him? That’s awesome!” His lip quirked subtly for a moment, and he placed a hand on his stomach once again. Vanya was worried that he was about to be sick again, but instead he beckoned her over. “Come here come here I wanna show ya something!”

She approached, cautiously. She didn’t want to harm her pregnant brother, even unintentionally. Klaus, however, didn’t seem the least bit concerned with the prospect that she might harm him. 

He grabbed her hand as soon as she was close enough and pressed it to the side of his belly. “Feel that?”

She just barely feels it, a gentle patting on her hand. Then, a much harder push against her palm. “Whoah--”

“Right?!” Klaus snickered, “Kid’s gonna be a pro something, he’s kicking the shit out of my ribs--” A sharp intake of breath, “ _Ow!_ ”

Suddenly her brother was bent double over his belly, shocked expression on his face. He let out another quiet moan and in a moment of panic she yelled; “Allison!”

However, Vanya’s cry brought the entirety of her siblings. Allison came barreling in first, followed by a less than pleased Luther, a rather on edge Diego, and a slightly interested Five. Her sister walked towards them with purpose, gently separating Vanya from the ailing Klaus so that she could kneel down next to him.

“Take a deep breath--” “Yeah I know I know--” “Breathe out..” “Mhm.” “Does it just feel weird or are you genuinely in pain?” “Little bit of both--”

Luther looked pointedly at her. “What are you doing in here?” He growled.

“I was just visiting Kla--”

“What did you do to him?”

“I-- I didn’t-- I--”

“Vanya--!”

“Luther, stop!” Allison jabbed at him, “She didn’t do anything! It’s just braxton hicks.” 

Klaus was beginning to perk up again, albeit he still had a hand resting protectively over his belly.

“What?” Luther looked genuinely confused by that. 

“False contractions.” Allison explained pointedly, before turning back to Klaus. “I know it’s a bit scary at first, you’re handling them way better than I did--” She chuckled.

Klaus finally looked at their brother, “Yeah man I was just letting Vanya feel the baby, they’re really active right now--” He turned back to Vanya, “ _Bitte_ , Vanya, come’ere, they’re beating the shit out of my kidney--”

“Absolutely not.”

“Luther!” Allison scolded.

“He makes a point.” Five interjected.

“Five!” Allison scolded once again.

Diego remained silent for the moment, but Five shrugged. “Vanya is still unpredictable. However, I do not think she poses a threat to Klaus. She wouldn’t hurt any of us.”

_Intentionally_. It hung in the air, the scar on Allison’s throat a reminder of that.

“See, see? It’s fine.” Klaus said, in typical Klaus fashion. “Jeez, from the way you’re talking you’d think someone might die or something.” He snickered, absentmindedly stroking his belly. Luther gave him a not-so-happy look.

“You’re pregnant.” Luther remarked.

“Yup.” Klaus nodded in agreement.

“Act like you care about your baby, at least.”

Klaus looked offended, but not truly offended. He was playing at it, like he always did. “What? Me, not care about the welfare of my own child? You _wound_ me, Luther.” With a bit of a last-minute chuckle, Klaus sunk back against the couch, hand resting comfortably on his baby bump. He seemed pleased with himself.

“Look, Luther, if you’re really that worried about it I can watch them--” Diego cut in.

“I don’t need a babysitter!” Klaus complained.

“I can stay back too.” Allison chimed back in, much to their brother’s annoyance. Klaus slinked back, arms crossed.

Luther looked between his siblings, seemingly defeated by his siblings silent agreement to watch Klaus and Vanya’s interactions, and cedes. “Fine. But if anything happens--”

“ _Nothing_ will happen!” Allison snaps, growing tired of Luther’s suspicions.

Their de facto leader relented. “Alright. I’ll be upstairs if you need me. I still want to make sure the moon is holding up okay after what happened a few months ago.”

Vanya looked down. One last jab. One last sucker punch before he walked out of the room. Five left as well, his silence neither an indicator of mood or tone. He simply left, most likely to be with his weird mannequin “wife”, Dolores.

Diego stalked off, deeper into the room, sulking in the corner while he watched Allison, Vanya and Klaus from afar. 

“So.. I believe we were feeling the baby?” Allison said, after several moments of silence had passed. 

“Actually I’m-- feeling kinda weird..” Klaus mutters, drumming his fingers against his stomach.

“You really need to stop spewing.” Ben commented from behind, not that anyone could hear him.

“You’re right, I’ll just flip my barf switch off.”

“You’re not good at this when you’re sick.”

“Drop dead.”

“Rude.”

“Klaus, who are you..” Allison trailed off. She knew the answer to that already, they could all probably guess who was in the room with him. They wouldn’t ask him to manifest Ben, though. He was considered ‘too delicate’ in his current state, as deemed by Luther, but he forgot that Klaus must have been in this condition when he manifested their brother in the first place. “You mentioned feeling weird?”

“Oh yeah!” His stomach felt nonexistent, but something was definitely in his throat. He rubbed at it with his left hand, keeping his right lazily on his stomach. He swallowed hard.

“Vanya can you get me a trash can? I think there’s one around here.” Allison instructed. Their sister immediately began to rummage around the room, looking for one of those small trash cans people kept in their rooms, or offices.

“Aw no, don’t do that. I can always run to the bathroom for a one-on-one session with the porcelain goddess.” Klaus remarked, swallowing again. He was suddenly aware of his stomach again, and it wasn’t feeling good. The baby kicked, and he let out a groan. “Ugh, kiddo, that’s not helpful.”

“They always seem to kick at the worst time.” Allison chuckled, giving his knee a comforting pat.

Vanya got the trash can to him in time for Klaus to shove his head to the side and vomit-- right into the bin she was holding. Allison looked at her, grateful for her timing. When he was done, Vanya set the bin down next to the couch, where Klaus had made his little nest. Blankets, old clothes and empty cups littered the area around the library where he was camping. 

“Ugh, this is torture!” Klaus moaned, “Uhh-- Alli, you ever crave something and wanna puke everywhere at the same time?”

Allison smiled at him, “Yes, that happened a lot while I was pregnant with Claire. If you’re craving something we can give it a try.”

Klaus gave a nod, standing up with a stretch. “I could go for a cucumber sandwich. Anyone else?”

“Can I come?” Vanya asked suddenly.

“Of course!” Allison chuckled, as if the question she had just asked was silly. It was silly. She was their sister, Klaus wasn’t afraid of her, Allison wanted her here, and she was sure, deep down, even Diego cared.

 

Three people sat in a darkened, decrepit hotel room. “Do you know what month it is?”

One of the people in the room shifts. Two on one bed, one on the other, like a parent-teacher conference. The lone person on the first bed reiterates the question. “The month. What is it?”

“I-- it’s June twenty fourth, Handler.”

“Right.” The Handler nodded. The face, and the voice were different. After Dot’s murder at the hands of Hazel, another had to be selected to replace her, and he was the best fit. “And do you know what this means for the Hargreeves?”

“Th-the apocalypse has been stalled for almost three months?”

“The apocalypse? Oh, the Commission doesn’t care about that anymore. We’ve determined that this is much more lucrative for us. However-- one small, teensy fault has wormed its way through into this timeline, and we need you two--” The Handler points to the other two people in the room, “To fix it. Do this and the Commission will consider forgiving all of the damage you caused, alright Cha-cha?”

The woman sighed, looking to her new partner, then to the new Handler. “Yes. I understand.”

“Good! Now, onto your assignment. Eliminate Klaus Hargreeves, or, his unborn child, I don’t care which.”

“Uh-- Handler--”

The Handler gave Cha-cha’s new partner a pointed look. He was a rookie, fresh out of training. He didn’t yet know all of the ins and outs of the Commission, their little old sayings, their operations, he hadn’t even committed an assassination yet. So, the Handler decided he would humor him. Once.

“Why is the choice to kill him or his pregnant girlfriend?”

The Handler let out a laugh. It drags on for several seconds, nearly a minute, until his laughter turned into half-hearted chuckles, before slowly trailing off. 

“Oh, Haid, you silly, silly boy.” The Handler let out another peel of laughter, “Klaus Hargreeves is pregnant. As you can imagine, the birth of this child will disrupt the timeline. The Commission, understandably, wants this erased from the timeline, you have till his due date, December 16th.”

The room fell silent.

They had a little over four months.


	2. Fussing

It was a wonder peanut survived him. It was amazing that peanut survived the Vietnam War. It was an achievement that peanut had lived through his withdrawal and then limped along long enough to everyone to figure out just what the hell was wrong with him. He had hated himself for a hot minute, after he had accepted whatever strange, crazy reality he was living in.

Then Ben had kicked his bed.

Once Luther had accepted it, he separated Vanya from him, and while he didn’t show it, it had pissed Klaus off. They had been trying to fix her, they stopped the apocalypse, but now that he was knocked up, he couldn’t take part in it.

“With silence like this, if I didn’t know any better I’d say your jaw was wired shut again.”

“Har-har Diego, was that the best your peabrain could come up with today?” Klaus pulled down a package of oreos and jar of peanut butter. Their dad never let them have oreos before. Mom must have gotten them, or Allison, or Vanya after they heard him complain about no oreos.

“Ouch, someone’s cranky.” Diego countered.

Klaus wasn’t paying too much attention to him though, as he was busy cracking open one of the oreos, without breaking the cookie, slathering on a rather generous amount of peanut butter, and then putting it back together. He repeated this a few more times so that he had a sizeable pile of peanut butter-and-creme oreos.

“Dude, your cravings get weirder by the day.” Ben commented, watching him work over his shoulder.

“Gross, you mean gross.” Klaus mumbled back, popping one of his frankenstein’d oreos into his mouth.

“You could have another cucumber sandwich and I wouldn’t fuss with you so much.”

“You’re the one who keeps saying I need to gain weight.” Klaus holds up his arms, fists clenched, chest puffed out as if he were imitating a drill sergeant. He had all but forgot Diego was in the room, and his brother stared at him with a slightly concerned expression on his face. “‘Klaus, you need to get fat!’”

“That is not what I mean and you know it.”

“Oh you know I’m joking.” He chuckles, letting his arms drop.

“Are you done talking to your imaginary friend?” Diego asked, still standing in the corner, out of the light from any of the windows like a creepy motherfucker.

“Uh, he’s not imaginary, he’s Ben.” Klaus countered, in a mock matter-of-factly voice, “Also-- he says hi.”

“No I don’t.” Ben muttered.

“Yeah yeah _shh_.” Klaus waved his hand dismissively at Ben.

“Yeah, tell him I said--”

“He can hear, you know.”

“...” Diego look around. “.. Hi Ben.”

“Now, was there something you wanted, dear brother of mine?” Klaus smirked, popping another one of his cookies into his mouth.

“Yeah, they want you downstairs, in the medical wing. Mom and Pogo want another Prenatal check up.” 

Klaus groaned. “I just had one of those last week!”

“Yeah, well now they want another one.” Diego muttered, before slinking out of the kitchen from the shadows, a la Batman-style. Klaus rolled his eyes.

He did what he’d been told. He’d been doing what he’d been told for the past two months, ever since they found out what had been making him spew like a freshman. He had known immediately, that it had been Dave’s. There was no one else he had been with, no one else he had loved more. It didn’t matter whether it was possible or not, just so long as that now, he had a tiny, minute piece of him back.

Maybe that was selfish of him. He didn’t care.

He still wore his vest. It smelled like him, after all. Klaus couldn’t bare to part with it, even if it didn’t match what he was wearing that day. Even if it was starting to look funny with the growing baby bump. His wardrobe wasn’t meant for childbearing. He wore pilfered shirts from Luther and Diego’s closets, though it didn’t matter who it came from, it hung off of him all the same.

“Remember dear, this is cold.”

“Damn!”

“Klaus, language.” Mom gently reminded, dobbler already on his lower abdomen. “Now, let’s see..”

The ridiculousness of a situation can only be assessed by someone who was sober, and he was ridiculously sober. Was this far fetched? Absolutely. They had just simplified his ability to conceive as being another unfortunate gift of his.

Good thing Sir Reggie didn’t know about it when he was alive.

“Sweetheart look.” Mom touched his hand, and Klaus lifted up his head enough to look at the screen.

A giant head, spindly arms and legs. The creature inside of him gave an occasional twitch. So small, so fragile, alien-like in its composition. His baby. His and Dave’s baby.

“Hello, little alien.” He whispered to the screen.

“Do you want to know the gender, sweetheart?”

“Uh--” He laid his head back down, shaking his head. “No-- no let’s uh-- keep that a secret.” He didn’t want to think about that. If the baby had a gender, that meant that it was already halfway over. As much as this pregnancy disrupted his life, as much as he hated having swollen feet and being nauseated, he didn’t want to let it go.

Mom gave him her signature smile. The smile that didn’t judge, it was just happy, and proud and loving. “Alright dear.” 

 

“I’ve been in the house before.” Cha-cha explained as she laid out a rather large piece of paper onto the motel’s lone table that it left in the room. “The layout is confusing as hell. I don’t know how anyone is able to live in there, but we have to assume they know more about it than we do and will use it to their advantage.”

“D-doesn’t Number Five live with them?” Haid asked her, hesitantly. 

Cha-cha rolled her eyes, groaned, went through all the motions of exasperation. Another recruit, starry-eyed and in awe of the godly “Number Five”. As she crudely drew out the floorplans in the house that she had been on, she answered his question. “Yes.”

“Do you think we’ll get to speak with him?”

God, he was as bad as Hazel. Worse, even, if there was a worse than Hazel. “No. We’re breakin’ into his house to kill his brother, he isn’t gonna talk to us.”

“A-are we going to have to kill Five too?”

Cha-cha sighed. “No. We get it, kill Klaus Hargreeves, and get out. Now pay attention, I’m gonna tell you what we’re gonna do.”

Haid quickly and obediently fell silent as she began to explain, and for a moment she preferred this to Hazel’s incessant chatter. It was a delight to be listened to, rather than having to fight to be heard when the both of them had conflicting ideas.

“Now, we’re gonna come in through this upstairs window. The file from the Commission says this window always gets left open. Once we’re in, you need to find cover. Be no more than five feet from me at all times, if we get separated in that house you will get lost and our cover will be blown if they find you.” She spoke evenly and sternly, “If they catch you, I will let them keep you, understand?”

The recruit nodded. “Good. Now, when we come in, we will be in the hallway with all of their individual bedrooms. From there we will _very carefully_ check their bedrooms, and make our way down into the foyer. Do not be seen. Wherever Hargreeves is, we will snipe him, and we will leave.”

“Wh-what if they see us?” Haid asked, hesitantly. His eyes were big and brown, like doe’s eyes. He was so innocent and fresh, she wondered vaguely where they had recruited him from. Some old Puritan era village, perhaps?

Cha-cha looked at the boy with a slight grin. “Then we separate.”

“But you just sa--”

“I know what I said, Haid. But I’ll find you.”

“Promise?” The boy held out a pinky finger to her. Cha-cha nearly burst out laughing. Haid raised his eyebrows, “Promise?”

She conceded to this childish request, wrapping her own pinky around Haid’s. “Promise. I will find you.”


	3. Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few characters are harmed in this chapter, though none of them are hurt fatally. I don't want to give too much away! Someone isn't going to make it out of the Academy! Who will it be?

It was dark out, it made for good cover. Cha-cha had walked around enough at night to know how to navigate well around in the dark with only the moon as a light source. The Commission trained you for it, but you’d never be as good as her until you had experience, which is why she kept a near-death grip on Haid’s wrist. 

“ _Now, stick to the plan._ ” She hissed, pointing up to the window. “ _I’ll boost you. Wait for me, and hide if you need to._ ”

Haid nodded, looking pale as a ghost. Cha-cha easily boosted him up, being used to helping Hazel with the same thing. Haid was half of Hazel’s size, and Cha-cha didn’t miss the fact that Hazel always wanted to go first on missions like this. 

Next, she started to scale the side of the building while Haid hopefully found somewhere to hide. For all she knew, they either redecorated, or she was remembering the details wrong, she hadn’t been in this part of the mansion long, just long enough to get her and Hazel’s asses kicked by a bunch of thirty somethings and then kidnap Klaus Hargreeves. 

Should have killed him then. She thought, bitterly. 

Some lady cop had freed him before they had the chance to. She had almost killed her, of course, but in the end, Klaus Hargreeves got away, survived to this point, and got himself knocked up. Cha-cha didn’t know whether she should be disgusted or impressed.

Her fingernails scratched the windowsill. She listened, there were no footsteps. Muffled voices, very muffled, soft, as if they were far off or behind a door or two. Cha-cha pulled herself up over the windowsill and into the threshold of the house.

They were in. Perhaps her pardon was in sight.

Haid was crouched in the corner, the whole hallway dark with the exception of a door that was open just a tiny crack, a sliver of light spilling out into the darkness. From that sliver of open door, a voice trilled out, soft and gentle. _Shit_. Cha-cha thought they would be further away.

“ _Oh sweetheart… feel a little… bring you something._ ” Cha-cha slinked up to the door as quietly as she pleased, motioning for Haid to get up close behind her. The female voice continued to speak softly to whoever else was in the room. Cha-cha put a finger to her lips and leaned over, moving as slowly as she could so that she wouldn’t attract any attention.

It was the Hargreeves they were looking for. He was laying curled up on the bed in what Cha-cha had to presume was his bedroom with a woman sitting next to him. The woman had blonde pin-up curls and high heels, perfect red lipstick and not a mark on her body. She looked a lot like what Cha-cha imagined a princess would look like, if America had royalty in the nineteen fifties. She would be easy to take out, and the timeline would most likely not miss her.

She leaned back, flicking her head to silently show Haid that this was what they were looking for. The recruit nodded. She pulled out her gun, slowly, silently, and placed her hand on the knob of the door before throwing it open.

“Your timelines end here!” Haid shouted, before Cha-cha could reprimand him. These new, stupid recruits always try witty little one-liners. One liners get agents killed.

And killed they almost become, as the woman on the bed stands up and rushes the both of them, throwing both Haid and herself out of the room. Cha-cha hits the floor with a quiet grunt, being trained to keep fights as quiet as she could, but that thud could be heard throughout the house regardless of how quiet her cries of pain were.

“That is close enough.” The living 1950’s pin-up said, her voice oddly even. 

Haid was nowhere in sight. Cha-cha looked around, but the pin-up was walking towards her faster than she expected someone in heels to be able to and grabbed her by the neck, lifting her into the air. Cha-cha gagged, kicking her feet.

“How did you get into this house?” The pin-up asked. 

Cha-cha let out a strained, “Haa--” gasping for breath, her legs swinging futilely for purchase. Black spots danced at the edges of her vision as her chest became painfully tight.

Cha-cha’s vision became light static as she heard someone from far off cry out, “Mom!” when the living pin-up dropped her to the ground, some kind of dark colored fluid spreading across her immaculate white-and-pink dress.

She made contact with the ground again, this time letting out a louder cry of pain. Everything was fuzzy, very fuzzy, and she still didn’t know where her stupid partner was. Perhaps he heeded her advice and ran off to cower somewhere. But then who had shot the thing that the far-off voice had called ‘Mom’?

Perhaps Haid shot her before running off.

Her vision was beginning to clear, but Cha-cha remained silent, inert on the ground. Let them think she was knocked out, until they became distracted by the shot pin-up. She could put a bullet in Klaus Hargreeves when they were least expecting it.

She peered through her eyelashes, and much to her surprise and excitement, the mark himself had come out of the room to check on ‘Mom’ and whomever had cried out to her. Both were speaking hurriedly and hushed, and both voices sounded male.

“Get you downstairs… safe..”

“... you? … Mom and…”

The slight scuffling of feet. Cha-cha couldn’t see it too well through her lashes, but someone was maneuvering the mark, who was being a bit difficult, away from her ‘unconscious’ body and down the hall. The pin-up had gone with him, whereas she was now alone with the person who had come to his aid. The body above her looked familiar, and then the face came into view, clear even through her eyelashes.

Diego Hargreeves. Shit.

 

Klaus watched the dark fluid continue to spread over his mother’s dress. With a hand on her shoulder, he asked; “Mom, are you sure you’re alright?” 

Daddy dearest had made sure that she could function in a pretty deplorable state. Once, when they were fifteen, someone had broken into the mansion and torn Mom to shreds before they could stop them. She had still smiled that perfect smile, patting them with the hand still attached to her dented body. It had been disturbing, and weirdly comforting that Mom wasn’t angry. She had been worried something might happen to them.

“Yes dear, just a minor coolant leak. Pogo can fix it.” Mom assured him, steering him towards the basement where they kept the infirmary. She fudged the ‘minor’ part. There was nothing minor about the amount of coolant leaking out of her.

“Wait wait wait wait— shouldn’t we plug it up?”

“No Klaus— don’t touch it, it can be harmful to pregnant women and developing fetuses.” Mom took a step back from him as he tried to press a hand to her side, reciting something that sounded like she was defaulting onto her pre-programmed responses.

“Mom—“ He almost teared up. She wasn’t going to die, this was ridiculous. Damn hormones. 

“Guys? Oh my god, Mom— What happened?” Allison’s voice called. They were still in the foyer, Mom hadn’t been able to steer him downstairs fast enough.

Allison was followed by Vanya. Both girls were dressed for bed, and Vanya’s fingernails were half painted. 

“Some perverts snuck in or something.” Klaus shrugged, “Lady in a suit.” He rested a hand on his stomach, “I— think there was someone else with her; short, twinky. Probably cute if he wasn’t trying to—“

“Where?”

“Upstairs.” 

Allison turned to Vanya. “Stay with him and Mom, I’ll be right back!” Allison called, running up the stairs.

Klaus looked over to his sister. Mom was eerily silent. “Girls night out?” He asked, jerking his head playfully at her unfinished nails.

“Oh—“ Vanya looked at her nails, “Girls night in. She wanted to have a sleepover.”

“Ah! Should have invited me! I could use a new coat of paint when I’m not hurling everywhere.”

Vanya let out a snort. “That’s gross.”

“Oh but it’s true.”

In the darkness, a gun cocked. “Stop right there. Klaus Hargreeves, you are a danger to the timeline.” 

“System overheating.” Mom warned, before her chin fell to her chest and she became motionless.

“Klaus, run!” Vanya and Ben shrieked at the same time.

However, when the gun fired, it was a ghostly blue tentacle that stopped the metal casing from ending his life. “Ha!” Klaus let out before ducking behind the bannister.

The voice in the shadows opened fire as Vanya ducked back into the library. Her violin! It was here somewhere, she just had to find it..

Gunfire echoed behind her, as well as a familiar grunt from Ben. Snatching a glance behind herself as she searched for her violin, she could see Klaus had manifested their brother once again, despite what Luther had told him.

Vanya felt her fingers wrap around her instrument. Well. Luther also told her not to do this.

She struck out a few chords before finding her rhythm, feeling the music grow inside of herself. She only needed a minute, she told herself, only a minute.

But in that minute, Klaus heard her music and turned to say something stupid, witty and utterly Klaus-like, and in that instant, the voice in the shadows rushed forward. In an instant Ben was gone, Klaus let out the loudest shriek she had ever heard, and a blast of energy left her body the same as it had when Leonard had been hurt by those men by the truck.

Never again.


	4. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it must seem like I'm updating quickly! I'll be releasing chapters a few at a time over the next couple of days or weeks. This project actually took several months for me to accomplish thanks to my degree program. It is actually still in the process of being written, several of the chapters towards the end are unfinished, so updates may peter out towards the end of the story but rest assured I will be completing it!

Diego hears Klaus scream. He turns his head towards the noise, but doesn’t bolt towards it. He couldn’t just leave the first assailant, besides, she looked familiar. But when he heard what sounded like two very _large_ objects hitting the wall, Diego bolted down the hall, towards the foyer, leaving the unconscious woman unattended.

He hears someone sniffling, but any sound quickly drains away into white noise against his ears as he sees Mom sprawled out on the ground, pin-up curls askew, dark liquid splattered across the wall from where she must have hit before she slid to the floor. More dark fluid covered her dress, her perfect white-and-pink dress that Diego liked to think of as her favorite. Her face was slack, a few specks of whatever was leaking out of her across her face.

It was as if he found Eudora on the floor of the apartment all over again.

“M-m-- Mom?”

“-ego!” Klaus’ voice was desperate and strained. Diego looked up from their mother to see his brother hunched on the ground, protecting his abdomen. “For Christ’s sake get me to the fucking infirmary!”

“Wh-what happened?” He looked around, laying at the bottom of the stairs was someone unfamiliar to him, a man he’d never seen before in a blue suit. Beyond him, a shaking Vanya holding her violin at her side. “V-vanya, put that away. D-don’t let L-luther see you with that.”

He knelt down to pick up Klaus, who wrapped one arm around his shoulders, keeping the other one around his stomach. “What h-happened?”

Klaus sniffed again, taking his hand off of his stomach to wipe his eyes. “Well see Diego this wooonderful guy broke into our freaking house and kicked me in the stomach!”

“He kicked you in the sto-- Vanya!” He called out to his still stunned sister, who was attempting to go through the motions of putting her violin back before Luther came thundering down the stairs and catching her red-handed. “Can you tie him up?” He gave the unconscious stranger on the floor a swift kick as he was carrying Klaus down the stairs, “Make sure he doesn’t get away, I have to get Klaus to Pogo, alright?”

Vanya nodded, but said nothing. “Vanya!” He called as he rounded the corner, edging into the doorframe, “You good?” 

Finally, a response, “.. Y-yes. I’ve got it.” She was quiet, he barely heard her, but it would have to do for now.

Diego turned around and carried his quickly unravelling brother down to Pogo. 

While Diego carried him, yelling for Pogo, Klaus curled up in his brother’s arms, a whimper just barely escaping his lips. He clutched his stomach, he could still feel the pain radiating from where that asshole had knee’d him.

_‘Klaus Hargreeves, you are a danger to the timeline.’_

Then he knee’d him right in the gut.

It was all pretty cut and dry for Klaus. Whoever had been hunting Five, and who had been trying to keep the apocalypse as a fixed event-- what did the little maniac call it… some ‘Commission’ or something. It wanted him or the baby dead.

He dug his fingers into his side, lip quivering. They wanted Dave’s last gift to him dead.

Diego laid him down gently on one of the gurneys that their father had mysteriously procured just for this part of the house. They’d come in handy whenever one of them had been hurt on a mission, although he was curiously taken to a real hospital when he broke his jaw.

Pogo and Diego both set to work, although Diego’s hands were shaking, he was nervous. “Put this belt around his midsection here, dear boy.” Pogo motioned for Klaus to sit up so that they could wrap it around him, which he did with no comment.

“Gosh you’re q-quiet--” Diego sputtered, continuing with the task that Pogo had given him. “P-pogo, Mom is downstairs l-leaking something.”

“Just a bit concerned, brother dear.” Klaus mumbled, concentrating extra hard to see if he could feel the baby move. Nothing, so far. Maybe they were sleeping.

Once Pogo had secured all of the monitors he wanted to Klaus’ body, mainly to his stomach, he looked up to Diego. “Go get Grace. We can fix her up, I believe we might need more hands soon.” 

Diego turned and left the room, going to retrieve Mom. Klaus turned to Pogo, looking at their primate babysitter with more worry in his expression than he really wanted to let on. Pogo met his eyes, expression equally terrified.

“Is uh-- is the doppler-what's-it-called on?” He asked, hesitantly. His voice almost tripped over the words.

Pogo nodded. “Yes, my boy.”

“And uh-- you can-- you can hear the heartbeat, right?”

Pogo fiddled with the knobs on the machine he was hooked up to, while Klaus watched him. He missed Diego coming in while he watched Pogo work, who stood Mom up in the corner.

‘Fsh-fsh-fsh’

Klaus nearly cried.

“You’re okay!” He mumbled, in awe of the baby’s hardiness. He sat back with a sigh of relief, only to see Mom stood up, covered in dark blue liquid in the corner. “AH!” 

“Master Diego, please refrain from scaring Master Klaus. I don’t think we’re out of the woods with him yet.” Pogo gently scolded, coming over to observe Mom’s broken body.

Diego nodded, “Right. Sorry-- can you fix her?”

“Oh yes, she is quite salvageable, b--”

“Is Vanya okay?”

Diego and Pogo looked back at Klaus, who had spoken up, although he had gone back to watching the screen on the machine. He looked over at them both as if it was dumb of them not to think of Vanya. “You got her before Luther got down there, right?”

Diego blinked, before heading back out of the infirmary to grab his sister. He’d seen her tying up Klaus’ assaulent, but he wasn’t sure what she would do after that. He was hoping she would stay close, and the question was answered when he rounded the bannister to see Vanya strolling back towards the library, slowly.

At that same moment, however, Luther’s big ass along with Allison and Five came down the stairs. Er-- Allison and Luther came down the stairs. Five, the sneaky son of a bitch, popped from the top of the stairs down beside him, kneeling next to the man whom he presumed had broken in along with the woman.

“Hm. So the Commission is after us again.” Five declared. He sounded neither scared nor impressed. “Just when I thought they’d gotten tired of chasing me too.”

“This guy knee’d Klaus in the stomach.” Diego growled to Five, “They’re not here for you this time, twerp, they’re here for him.”

Instead of an outburst, Five simply nods. “Yes, a previously unknown phenomena happens they assume couldn’t happen originating in our household. It seems only fit that they would want to stop a child being born from a biological male. It would turn the whole world on its’ head, should the truth about Klaus’ child’s parentage come out.”

Someone goes to speak. Collectively the siblings open their mouths to ask Five a question, but he doesn’t seem to be finished yet. “Furthermore, this child has one parent from twenty nineteen-- and one from nineteen sixty eight.”

“Wh-- what are you saying, Five?” Allison was finally able to ask.

“I’m saying the Commission knows that this baby should not exist, and unlike before, they will stop at nothing, and I mean _nothing_ \-- to make sure it doesn’t.”

 

Klaus was alone, while Pogo worked on Mom. He didn’t realize that it would take so long to patch up a hole and fill Mom up with coolant, but she was a near sentient robot, it only made since that her inner workings were complicated, like a human.

He had a hand rested gingerly on his stomach, as if he were going to be sick again. For a few white-knuckled moments, Klaus feared he might, but the sensation passed.

He listened to the heart monitor. “... You’re tough, aren’t you, _leibchen_.” He whispered.

 

As a lone female figure made her way hobbling out of an alleyway with the first rays of the sun, a man just walking to unlock the local Starbucks called out to her; “Miss, are you alright?”

She turned to look at him with a haggard face. Her bob-style hair was a mess of frizz and some dark substance- could it be blood?- and a messy, wrinkled suit. Perhaps she had been drinking that night, at a party after work. She looked deranged, if not drunk. She blinked at him, after he asked this question, and he dared not speak again, until;

“Yes. I’m fine.”

Then, she turned and wobbled down the street with some odd air of purpose about her. The man looked down, and noticed she only had on one shoe.

As Cha-cha made her way down the street, she bit back a growl of frustration, opting to grit her teeth instead. She was angry she decided to park so far away last night. The concrete of the sidewalk began to grate on her skin, chaffing it through the thin panty hoes she wore. When this was all over, she was going to talk to the new Handler about uniforms- through her new partner, of course. She’d have him spew some bullshit on being concerned about her ankles, Haid seemed like the sort that would.

Speaking of Haid, the little shit, he was nowhere in sight, and Cha-cha had a sneaking suspicion she knew why. It was his first big assignment, and the idiot had gone and gotten himself kidnapped on her watch.

The Handler was going to be pissed. If she ever found Hazel, he wasn’t going to even have time to see her before she puts a bullet between his eyes. 

When Cha-cha reaches the car, she curses Donut Bitch and Hazel again. “I swear to god, when I get reinstated, I’m gonna go murder them both..” She muttered to herself, hissing as the morning rays hit her eyes. After so long in the dark of the Hargreeves mansion, and afterwards squatting in an alleyway after Mr. Knives-and-Rage ran off, they stung at the touch of bright light.

She had to figure out how to break back in and rescue Haid, and fast.


	5. Mary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when Klaus reappears on the bus and 'Mary' by Big Thief came on, I started sobbing. The raw emotion on Rob's face combined with the music choice created such a powerful scene, so you'll have to forgive me for providing this lovely song a small homage in this work.

Luther and Diego had worked together on something for once, which was impressive in and of itself. They had fitted Vanya’s old prison with a set of bars, and stuck the still unconscious commission assassin inside. Then, they had waited.

“How did he get knocked out?” Luther asked him, looking over. “You carried Klaus into the infirmary.”

“Before that, I neutralized the threat.” Diego said simply, crisply. He lied as if it were second nature, just like Allison. “Found Klaus on the stairway, I just knocked this guy out while he was distracted. Then I found Vanya hiding in the library.”

Luther started to bow up with rage again. “So she left Klaus the-”

“She didn’t know he was there, I asked her!”

Luther looked at him skeptically. Diego knew that when this guy came to, if he cooperated, his story was going to come apart at the seams, but he wasn’t going to go back up there and say he didn’t try. Vanya was his sister. Luther was a dick. Enough said.

They both fell silent, staring at the unconscious agent from the Commission on the other side of the room before-

“Is he okay? Klaus, I mean-”

“Yeah. Pogo is watching him.”

Luther let out a sigh through his nose, looking from the assassin to Diego. “What if he-”

“If he had, you really think he’d be alive right now?” Diego had never actually committed murder before. Sure, he’d come close, but everyone he fought on the streets ended up in jail. Sometimes they’d take a detour to the hospital for a few days, but after that? Jail.

But he would have killed this guy for Klaus.

The sound of footsteps drawing closer made both men turn around and look to the doorway to see Allison fast approaching. She held a jar in both hands, and she looked excited.

“Okay boys, I’ve got something to wake our guy right up!” She declared, “I almost forgot Dad used to keep a jar of smelling salts around for whatever one of us would faint.”

“Dad kept smelling salts?” Diego wondered out loud.

“Yeah, remember that time I fainted when we realized you’d been in the pool for twenty minutes?”

“No.” Diego muttered.

“Wait- yeah!” Luther answered.

“Well he used these. He also used them on Klaus and Vanya a couple times, and you, Diego, remember? You used to faint every time he wanted blood from us.” She chuckled a little, as if their father wasn’t a weirdo who collected their blood so that when he wasn’t testing them, he could test their blood.

“That’s not how I remember it.” He muttered, crossing his arms. 

“We could have used that a few months ago.” Luther cracked a smile, referring to when they had to donate blood to Allison, only for Diego to faint dead away when Mom brought out the needle.

“That’s not how we’re remembering it.” Diego countered resolutely.

“If you two are done-” Allison walked towards the Commission assassin, unscrewing the lid on the jar of smelling salts, “I think we should get this show on the road.”

The both of them stood at attention as she waved the salts beneath the assassin’s nose. Then, they all waited with baited breath, Allison still holding the salts out to the man tied up on the chair. Then, a sharp intake of breath through the nose, a sigh.

Allison takes a step back, looking at the stranger’s face at a safe distance. She didn’t want to be headbutted by someone pretending to be unconscious, she had seen Diego make that mistake before. However, she spies the flutter of eyelashes, and with a sense of triumph, she turns to the boys. 

“He’s awake.”

At those words, a grin blooms on Diego’s face, but before any of them could say anything, a fourth voice was added to their conversation.

“Wh.. where am I?”

Allison turns her attention to the man on the chair. She bows up suddenly, like a mother cat protecting her kittens. “You’re in my home. Why are you here? What do you want from my family?” The words weren’t snarls or hisses, but they bit nonetheless. 

“I..” The man fumbled for words, his head was still fuzzy, he might have even been concussed, they wouldn’t know for certain. They won’t put him in the infirmary, not with Klaus, not after what they’d heard from him and Diego. “‘M not… here for you..” he mumbled.

Allison pursed her lips. She was getting more done than her brothers, who stayed quiet behind her, letting her finish her questioning. “We know you’re here for Klaus.” She spat. “Are there more of you?”

“S-she’s not coming back.. She said you could have me-” His voice warbled a bit, either from the head injury, emotion or both.

“Are more of you coming?” She asked sternly, as if she were addressing Claire, although everyone in the room doubted she would use such a malicious undertone with her daughter.

The man tied to the chair hesitated. He made a few noises indicating he was struggling to find the words to spit out for this situation, but he found purchase on none of the suggestions his brain provided. Finally, he spoke. “Yes.”

Nostrils flared, Allison turned back to her brothers. 

Diego took a breath in. “Well. Shit.”

 

“This is a bad decision.”

Klaus hissed at Ben instead of answering him. He was currently in the process of stripping all of the equipment attached to him off, and couldn’t devote any brainpower to coming up with a witty quip back.

“What if Pogo or someone comes back?”

“Let em!” Klaus finally shot back, the loud scratch of velcro coming apart ringing through the room as he pried the fetal heart monitor off. It had been steadily beating for the past two hours, any worry Klaus might have was currently abated, but it would be back, he had no doubts about that. He swung his legs over the side of the gurney once he was free and looked at Ben; “It’s never stopped me before, Benny-boy. Now come on, let’s go see what they’ve got on that asshole who kicked me.”

Ben looked like he was about to say something, but Klaus walked right through him. He sighed instead.

“But where would they even be?” After all, Ben mainly plodded around next to Klaus, him being the only one who could see him and all.

Klaus comically tapped his chin, miming that he was thinking very hard about this. “Not the library, not the training room. Where was the one place in this house where dad kept a giant cage, hmmm, ah!” He headed towards the elevator. “Vanya’s very own mausoleum!”

He pressed the button once and waited for the elevator. Impatiently, he tapped it again, then again.

“That’s not going to make it come up any faster.”

Rather than an answer, once again, he was hissed at.

A ding, the door opened, and Klaus stepped in. Ben materialized next to him, and the two stood in silence.

The elevator dings again, and when the doors open, Klaus is met with three pairs of eyes and the back of a head that attempts to swivel to see who had just entered the room.

“Hey guys.” Klaus smirked, placing a hand protectively on his belly. “That him?”

“What are you doing down here?” Allison asked, concern and bewilderment on her face.

Before anyone could say anything else, however, Luther was up, and he was angry. “What are you doing here?” He growled. Klaus attempted to answer, but Luther cut him off; “This isn’t just about you anymore, Klaus. There’s someone inside of you who depends on you to stay alive!”

For a moment, no one said anything. Klaus blinked, gathering himself before speaking; “I wanted to look the guy who tried to kill me in the eyes and ask him what the fuck was his problem.”

He really did, it was true, and he also wanted to kick him in the balls, but he wasn’t sure if they’d let him do that, so he stuck with his first reason, verbally at least. He might sneak down here later to get a kick or two in on the bastard.

“Y-you d-don’t have to worry about me anymore honestly..” the assassin croaked from behind them, “I-it’s Cha-cha—“ 

Diego stood up so fast his chair fell back against the ground with a loud clatter. Everyone was silent.

“You mean the bitch that shot Eudora? You’re with her?”

“W-wait a tick wait a tick didn’t you say that lady upstairs was familiar?” Klaus chimed in, “The one who Mom choked?”

Diego looked around for a moment, possibly berating himself in his head. Everyone remained silent as they watched him, not daring to make a sound before-

“So she’s coming back, for you.”

“N-no.. no.. you could kill me for all she cared.” The man mumbled, keeping his head down. “She’s gonna.. gonna call the commission.. probably bring in a squad…”

“What do you mean by a squad?” Luther growled.

“I- I wasn’t with them long enough, they’re just detachments of soldiers. Th-they’re not trained the same as us, though.. it’s all I know, I swear!”

Allison touched Diego on the arm, waving her brothers away from the makeshift cell for a moment. “He certainly gave up quickly.” She observed.

“Maybe he feels.. Oh so terrible.” Klaus said, sarcasm dripping from his words. Luther rolled his eyes, clearly his attempt at lightening the situation would not work for their brother.

“Klaus, be serious, please.”

“I am, Luther, humor is how I cope.” He spoke dismissively, flicking his wrist at Luther. “Okay so he did give up too easily.” Klaus conceded, subtly shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Diego reached over and pulled the chair he had been sitting in over to where they were talking. “Here you go little bro.”

Klaus didn’t bother to correct him. They were all the same age, but for some reason, he was their little brother. Not even Five had taken that title from him when he returned in a younger body, for some reason, Klaus had been dubbed ‘youngest’ no matter what.

He popped a squat in the chair with a relieved sigh, content to watch his siblings argue for the next twenty minutes.

“We can’t trust anything this guy says.” Luther said, “If he’s the one who kicked Klaus and shot mom, then he’s got the most to lose.”

“I-” Diego looked down, rolling his lip between his teeth. He almost looked as if he were in pain. “I- I agree with Luther. But we can’t forget about Cha-cha. He might be covering for her too.”

Luther nods at this, before looking over at Allison. Their sister nodded in agreement. 

“We can’t rule out Cha-cha, but this guy clearly stands to lose more if he tells the truth. I don’t think we should trust him.” Allison looked over at the assassin, who had his head lowered as if he were a man about to be executed, “But should we keep him down here? If he escapes we won’t be able to hear it.”

“Well we’re not keeping him upstairs, not with Klaus.” Diego growled, suddenly protective, “At least if he’s down here, there’s more space between him and us.”

“Yeah I agree with Diego, I don’t want this guy anywhere near me or Mary.” Klaus spoke up, subbing the name in, it was the first thing he could think of to call the baby inside of him. He could change it to Manny if it was a boy, after all. Allison blinked, everyone did, perhaps surprised he would chose such a simple name for a child.

It was the name of Dave’s sister.

Allison quickly accepted this however and nodded, “Alright. Klaus and Mary are our priority, guys. This guy sleeps down here.”

Luther and Diego nodded in agreement, it was the strangest sight. Old Reggie would have been proud to see all of them agreeing again, like when they were kids. 

Fuck old Reggie.


	6. Fall

Cha-cha had been at this for two weeks.

The Commission had made it clear that if she didn’t rescue Haid and complete the mission they would send someone after _her_ , and then they would go complete the job themselves. How far the infamous Cha-cha had fallen, from the Commission’s best, and most feared assassin to fearing for her life if she didn’t complete what they handed her.

She remembered Number Five had taken her and Hazel’s spot as ‘the best’ for a brief time, what with all of the splicing and crispr nonsense they did to his body. She snarled as she worked on her plan, remembering Five’s accomplishments always being held above her’s. She used to admire him, but after everything he had put her through, first with the apocalypse, and now with this baby nonsense?

Cha-cha was going to kill that little shit herself, right after she completed this mission.

As she sketched out routes she might take inside the Hargreeves mansion, she took a sip of coffee. She tried not to think about what the actual mission entailed. Then she might feel regret.

A shot right through the belly, it would be clean, and it might not even kill him if his other siblings were fast enough, but the job would be done, and he wouldn’t be having anymore children, that’s for sure. She plotted, like a jealous woman in the eighteen hundreds who couldn’t bare children. _Right in the belly, with a knitting needle! It was jealousy they say, went right to her head._

How far the infamous Cha-cha had fallen, to such devices she had descended to.

 

Haid had been sitting in this makeshift cell for two weeks.

He knew it had been hastily put together, it had been easy enough for him to knock the bars off the first time. However, they had locked whatever door led to the elevator, and when he attempted to ambush who had come in, he was no match for them. The biggest one had come for him-

Luther was his name, right?

They always sent him now, just in case he’d kicked the bars off again.

Luther talked about having the fourth wall of the cell reattached so that he would be sealed in a sound-proof chamber. Just the idea of it made Haid’s heart rate go up. Back at the Commission, sensory deprivation was a form of torture.

Now, however, Haid laid out, straight as a board with his eyes closed. Hands folded across his stomach, legs crossed at the ankles in a form of meditation. 

He was trying to remember his sister’s face. She had freckles, and long brown hair, as was the style, back in his original time period. Where was he from, again? When the Commission pulled him from his original era, his brain had fractured. It had felt as if someone had blown a hole in his head, he could barely comprehend what was happening for the first few days. They told him he had agreed to it, but he couldn’t even remember that. He remembered a conversation with his sister- Thomason was her name- they had been talking about the goats and then… nothing.

The door in front of his cell creaked, but he didn’t bother to open his eyes. He barely even stirred.

“Wake up. It’s lunchtime.” The gruff voice of the largest of the Hargreeves children, Luther, filled the room. Haid opened one eyes, pointedly and looked at him.

He said nothing. Luther scowled.

“Not talking today either? We can play this game for as long as you want, but my brother Diego isn’t as patient as me and he has a temper to match.” Luther threatened. This was a new threat, but he didn’t doubt his words. Luther would make good on that eventually, should he decide not to open his mouth eventually.

But he kept his mouth shut for the moment. Picture Thomason, picture the goats, what was she so concerned about, was it that the goats might get into something? Were they dying? Not yielding enough milk?

He didn’t notice one Hargreeves leave the room while another entered.

“Hm. So the Commission is hiring children to do their dirty work, now?”

The voice scared him, and he stopped imagining. Haid sat up, eyes wide to see Number Five was standing barely a foot away from his ‘cell’, completely motionless. He didn’t think the prepubescent voice of a thirteen year old could scare him that much.

“To such infernal devices they’ve fallen to- how old are you?” Number Five asked, without skipping a beat.

Haid fumbled for words. He was in the presence of _Number Five_. “I- um- I’m-”

But how old was he? His brain had shattered upon entering the Commission Headquarters, fracturing into a million tiny pieces. He hadn’t been able to comprehend any of what was happening for a few days. Delirium, they called it, and they said it was normal.

“I don’t.. I don’t remember, Five.. sir.”

The teenager smirked at the title, tucking his hands into his pockets. “So it does speak.” He remarked, strutting away from the bars, towards the far wall as if he were pacing, “So, do you have a name? Or did they give you a new one.”

“I- they- I’m called Haid.”

Number Five turned to face him. “Good. So, Klaus is a danger to the timeline.”

“... Y.. yes.”

“Was he a danger in 1968 as well?”

Haid blinked. He vaguely recalled that as well. The murder of some young, inconsequential soldier had been his first mission. “I- they didn’t tell me why I was doing it I-”

“No no, you don’t need to explain Haid. I was rarely ever informed of the purpose of my missions either.”

“They told me about you-“ He was starstruck, against his better judgement, “You messed up the whole timeline- abandoned everything just to save your family-“

“So you can imagine why I’m this close to killing you where you sit, right Haid?”

Those words sounded extra disturbing coming from the mouth of a preteen.

“B- Mr. Five, sir-“

“See Haid, I didn’t give a shit about the apocalypse and I don’t give a shit about you. Klaus is my younger brother.” Five raised his chin in a show of pride, “So you should talk before I change my mind.”

Haid didn’t hesitant this time. “Cha-cha, she’ll be back, the Commission is breathing down our necks! There’s a new Handler, he’s got a real stick up his ass and a way with words, and they’re really stingy with briefcases now- I- that’s all I know I swear, besides the mission.”

“Right. Eliminate Klaus Hargreeves.” Five nodded.

“Or his unborn child.” Haid added, saying the words with a hint of disgust. He can’t take back his actions now, he thought it was the right thing. He had been doing the right thing.

They didn’t know what he knew.

“Ah. I see they’re still in that business too. Good to know.” Five turned around. “I’ll tell the others. You can live for now.”

 

Klaus retched over the toilet bowl, guts spasming painfully. Allison kneaded his shoulder, he found it comforting.

“Got what you asked for.” Diego’s voice came from the doorway. Plastic rustled, Allison thanked him, but Klaus didn’t hear his brother walk away. Instead, Diego asked; “He alright?”

“Rough morning.” Allison replied, “Klaus? Diego brought you some Gatorade.”

Klaus groaned for a moment, hand splayed across his aching abdomen. He rested his head against the toilet seat, letting silence be his answer for the moment. Allison patting his shoulder.

“You should drink some.” Ben suggested from the corner.

“Shut up Ben. You come puke your guts up every time of the damn day.” He mumbled, fumbling for the knob so he could flush the toilet, the smell of his own vomit was not helping his nausea.

“I’m sure he’s only trying to help.” Allison soothed, her hand gliding across his sweaty back. His tank top was sticking to him.

Klaus whimpered, biting back a pathetic sob. This was ridiculous! He shouldn’t be crying! “I know.” He mumbled. He felt stupid for crying, but couldn’t help himself. 

Diego rounded Allison as she pulled Klaus closer, he didn’t fight her. Both of his sibling sat with him while numb tears rolled down his cheeks for a few minutes.

“It’s gonna be alright little bro. It’s gonna be okay.” Diego’s hand found his shoulder. “You’re just tired.”

“I know.” He nodded, looking at Ben. “I’m sorry man.”

The ghost of his brother nodded, the smile was all he needed to know he had been forgiven already. 

“Hey.” Allison looked down at Klaus, “You’re pregnant, it’s okay to not be okay.”

Klaus let out a laugh, “Gosh, you both sound like my old therapist!”

Allison let out a sigh and squeezed him. “Are you alright now?”

“Oh yeah, I’m peachy.” Klaus flicked his wrist, sitting up and away from the both of them. “Am I allowed to take a bath by myself? I’m all sweaty.”

Allison and Diego shared a look, but they both nodded. “Yeah bro. Neither of us wanna see you naked.” Diego added, standing up. Allison waited until he was sitting up on his own before she joined Diego. 

They left him to his own devices, the door closed behind him. He started the bath water, looking around to see that Ben had also left the room.

He took off his tank top, tossing it onto the floor with little care as to where it landed. He then pulled the rubber band off of his pants, it was the only thing keeping them on him at this point with how much his waistline had grown in the past five months. He honestly needed a second pair of pants.

Once the water had almost filled the tub completely, he clambered inside, settling into the water. His fingers itched for a cigarette. He used to smoke wherever he wanted, especially in the bathroom, but he couldn’t do that anymore.

_Klaaaaaauuss…_

He hadn’t done any kind of drugs in five months, nearly six. At times, especially when he was alone, it was grating. Nothing to numb the pain of losing Dave, nothing to silence the screams and moans of the dead who latched onto him whenever he was near. There were days he had itches. There were days he barely left his bed because of it.

_Klaus, help us!_

_Why Klaus?_

_Listen Klaus, please!_

He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t look at them, he couldn’t see their cracked open heads and purple eyes. They made him listen, but he wouldn’t look. He’d left his headset in his room when he first ran in here to puke, but he might be able to last a few more minutes.

He could last a few more minutes. He could do this.

_Klaus? Klaus please I know you can hear me-_

_Klaus!_

_Listen to me, Klaus!_

He whimpered and covered his ears, sinking further into the water as if he might be able to hide beneath the surface. His headset would only block out their cries for attention, he would still see them if his eyes were open. It was why the drugs had been such a go-to. Not only was he addicted, and he didn’t want to shit and puke till he had to be hospitalized, but they made all of the ghosts just… disappear. 

To such destructive devices he had descended. It had been a long, fun-filled fall, too. Climbing back up was absolute hell, especially with a baby inside of him.

_Klaus! Klaus!_

_Please, please help me I don’t know where I am…_

_Klaus, my wife-_

Mary kicked him, off in his right side. He winced, rubbing the area gently, his mind taken off the ghosts for a moment.

He wasn’t thinking clearly right now. Right now, he was alone, in a tub, with no music at five months, three weeks pregnant (and five months sober!), surrounded by ghosts. He needed to get out and dry off. He needed to get dressed. You can only think clearly with your clothes on, after all.

He gets out, being careful not to slip on the floor with his wet feet. He should have put a towel down or something. Klaus wraps his body in a towel, grabs his clothes, and gets the heck out of the bathroom, resisting the urge from his youth to run as fast as he could out of the bathroom, letting the door slam behind him, back to his room where he would jump into his bed, cover his face with the covers and cry himself to sleep.

Instead, he walked, stiff, to his bedroom so that he wouldn’t sleep on the wooden floors, clothes clutched to his chest like a shield of sorts. 

He dresses in his room, another tank top, rubber band around the button of his pants, through the hole and back around the button again to hold them on. He didn’t need maternity clothes, not when he could just sneak into Diego or Luther’s rooms and take one of their shirts, and had an endless supply of rubber bands in his possession. He didn’t plan on repeating this either. This pregnancy was a one-time-only deal.

Klaus touched the material of his vest. For a moment, he feels Dave’s hand on his own, and he takes his eyes off the floor. 

Not a soul was there.


	7. Ben and Dave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. At the time when I was just writing and writing to get this story out of me it seemed alright, but it's one of the most edited out of all of the written chapters so far. I do hope you enjoy it, regardless, if not for anything other than the melodrama ~~and hating on Luther.~~
> 
> Edit: I forgot to name the chapter before I went to class. //facedesk

“ _The kindest of my siblings, but he was so eager to please our Father. He was easily manipulated, dragged into Father and Luther’s little games- and those two simply let him die._ ”

A tear wets the page of the copy of _Extra Ordinary_ in his hands. Klaus had pulled it off the shelf while he was pursuing Daddy Dearest’s library. He was looking for Grace, so that he could ask for some of her waffles to cheer him up after waking up sick, but the book had caught his eye. It had been a while since he’d read it, and now he remembered why he only read it once.

It never told him what happened to Ben. Did he collapse into a puddle of gore? Did he off himself? He wasn’t allowed to know, he wasn’t there, it was a well-kept secret. Even from him.

“I don’t remember you really being one for reading-” “Oh Christ you little weirdo-”

Klaus put a hand on his chest, exaggerating his reaction to Five walking up on him. “I was looking for Mom.”

“Ah.” Five nodded. “I interviewed the assassin who was sent to murder you. His name is Haid.”

“Yeah I.. I don’t really care about that, little man.” Klaus replied, shaking his head. He put the copy of _Extra Ordinary_ back on the shelf, next to a book on music theory. Next to that, a book on the supernatural, and next to it, the nature of dishonesty. He turned back to Five, eyebrow raised in confusion. “Is that all you came to tell me?”

His older-yet-younger brother looked down for a moment, hands in his pockets. He sighed mournfully, then looked back up at him. “Look… Luther doesn’t want me to tell you this but- this assassin, Haid, this isn’t his first mission. It’s his first major assignment.”

Klaus made a pinwheel motion in his hands, “Ah-huh, ah-huh, get to the point-”

“His first assignment had to do with you, that’s why they sent him.” Five hesitated, “He-”

Klaus blinked, leaning forwards as far as he could over his belly, “He?”

“Klaus I want you to sit down.”

“No way, just tell me dude.” He was nervous now.

“He’s responsible for Dave.”

The background peeled away. Klaus wasn’t in the library anymore, he was in a free floating plane made up of the ground that made contact with his feet, and Five. He tried to speak, but his throat had a lump in it the size of his fist.

“Klaus-”

“ _Oh-_ ” Klaus felt his lower lip quiver, his knees felt weak. He reached out a hand as if he were searching for something to catch him as he descended to the floor, it was the only solid for him, the only constant; “ _Oh no-_ ” Hand on his belly, feeling Mary move inside of him. He hissed quietly, where she couldn’t hear him, “ _Oh no no no no no no-_ ” His chest was burning, the bandaid that he’d slapped over that gaping wound had been ripped off, along with the fragile scab that had grown over it. Grief was gushing out, like a fresh wound.

Five had grabbed onto Klaus’ outstretched hand and helped lower him to the floor, listening to his lilting chorus of ‘no no no’s. He was regretting his decision to tell him, watching Klaus stroke his bump, listening to him whimper. His head dropped into his hands, he drew back from Five.

But he deserved to know, Luther be damned. He would find out eventually anyways.

Klaus seemingly recovered after a few moments, his whimpers and quiet pleads fading, replaced by the occasional sniffle. He took his hands off of his face, and those reddened eyes told Five a different story.

“You- you said Luther didn’t want me to know?”

Five nodded. “I felt it was only fair to let you know. He was your partner.”

Klaus nodded at him, taking a deep, shuttered breath. “Where is he? Where’s Luther right now, do you know?”

“I believe he is downstairs in the kitchen having a conversation with Allison bu- Klaus?” Five watched as Klaus stood up and walked past him with determination, his face stony, hands at his sides. “I wouldn’t do that..” he let the sentence drop, there would be no reasoning with him.

The teenager stood instead and followed after him.

“Luther? Luther!” Klaus only grows louder and more fervent the longer he called out to their brother, descending the stairs angrily, “Luther!”

The man of the hour was standing a few feet away from the old breakfast table, where they used to eat when Reginald wasn’t there. Mom was in there as well, having been fixed up by Pogo. She hummed, cooking something on the stove until Klaus came clambering in. Even Mom stopped what she was doing to look at the commotion. 

“Klaus, wha-” “You knew, and you didn’t want him to tell me.”

Klaus’ words came up like venom, laced with bile. They sounded cruel, vitriolic, not like him at all and it disgusted him, but he had to get it out. Keeping it in would only make him feel worse.

“Klaus- calm down, what did I not want someone to tell you?” Luther asked, while everyone else in the room cringes simultaneously. 

“Don’t tell me to calm down, asshole!” He pointed downward, referring to the basement, “Five told me what he did. He murdered Dave.”

“Klaus stress is bad for you-” But Allison cut him off, “You’re right Klaus, it was bad of us not to tell you. Luther was probably just worried about how you would reaction.”

“How I’d react?!” He glanced from his sister to his brother. Allison didn’t deserve to be yelled at, she was trying to deescalate the situation, but suddenly it was like he was on the bus again, Dave’s blood coating his hands. “None of you tell me shit! All I know about Ben’s death is from Vanya’s fucking book! Were you worried about how I’d react then too?”

“Klaus, please-” Allison tried again. He knew she wouldn’t use her powers on him, she’d sworn those off long ago. He felt rotten, thinking rueful thoughts about how he could finally get them all to listen to him. They only started caring after they found out about the baby.

Klaus shook his head. “What happened to Ben?”

No one answered, everyone looked at everything except each other. Even Mom was silent, the robot stood completely still as if she had be paused, spatula still in hand. Five scraped his foot across the floor to create some semblance of noise.

“...” Klaus scoffed, teeth bared like an animal; “That’s what I thought. What happened to Ben, Luther?!”

“Klaus!” The new voice didn’t belong to anyone living. Klaus turned around to face Ben, who was standing behind him. “I’ll tell you.”

All of the color drained out of Klaus’ face, all of his anger ebbed away, replaced by guilt and fear. “Wait wait Ben you don’t have to-” He suddenly realized this wasn’t the outcome he had wanted.

“Klaus, are you okay?” Allison asked him, noting how pale he had gotten. He hadn’t eaten yet today and it was nearly noon, not to mention he was so worked up.

Ben looked around like a woman about to expose herself, as if his wounds, if any, were shameful. “It wasn’t their fault.” Was all he said, pulling up his shirt just enough-

Klaus was met with a giant, black hole and a renewed wave of nausea. He ran for the trashcan Mom kept in the kitchen, falling to his knees with his head hooked inside of the bin. ‘Oh god’ he understood why Ben looked completely whole now. He could see the dead in all of their grisly glory, but Ben had always looked as he had in life, he assumed because he didn’t know but now- now he did know.

And Ben looked the same.

Allison was at his side so fast it was as if she teleported, but she wasn’t Five, Klaus reasoned ruefully. She just walked, while he was distracted with his vomit and his horrible new revelation. He asked for this. 

“It’s okay, deep breaths-” 

He looked up, the room speckled with little grains of light that seemed to grow larger and brighter as time went along. Klaus’ limbs felt weak. The light was beginning to hurt his eyes, so he closed them.

Nothing.

Five watched Klaus go limp in Allison’s arms.


	8. Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late update because one of my classes was canceled so I slept in! I'm very excited for what's to come, please enjoy!

_Klaaaaus?_

_Help me Klaus!_

“No..”

“Klaus? Shh- I think he’s waking up!”

“Wha..?”

_Klaaaaus!_

His eyes opened to the concerned face of Allison, but it was so bright he could barely get them open, and they slipped shut so quickly.

A pair of gentle hands checked his forehead, and rested two fingers on his neck for a moment. “Poor thing.” Mom’s voice cooed, “Fainting is normal in pregnancy, and he’s just had a significant emotional shock.”

“He hasn’t eaten at all today.” Allison chimed in, adjusting her grip on Klaus to prop up his head a bit, “He was sick this morning.”

Klaus stirred again in her arms, “Where..?”

“You fainted sweetheart.” Mom supplied, hand resting on his chest. 

Klaus opened his eyes once again, just a sliver, blinking rapidly. “Ah _shiiit._ ” He groaned, “Can- can you guys let me up..?” His voice was quiet, raspy even, if only a little bit.

“So eager.” Mom chuckled, “In a minute dear, I heard you haven’t eaten at all. I’ll make waffles!” 

With a sigh, Klaus reclined back in Allison’s arms for a moment. Five brought over a cup of water, which was strangely nice of the tiny terror to do, but he didn’t question it in the moment, he simply took shallow gulps from the cup as instructed.

Once he’d finished the whole thing he’d sat up, out of Allison’s arms. He stood on shaky legs and sat himself down at the table, waiting on Grace to finish the pancakes she had promised. He busied himself looking around the room, Allison and Five taking seats around the table with him. He noticed Ben standing forlornly in the corner, arms crossed, leaning against the wall, but there was no Luther in sight. 

“Hey where’d moon-man go?” He asked, pointing to where the giant had been standing before he fainted.

Allison looked at the wood grain of the table for a moment, “He uh… he said he was going to go try to get more out of that assassin.” 

“Perhaps he’ll have more luck than he did last time. My presence scared the boy within an inch of his life.” Five chuckled a bit at this, like he were a celebrity who took pleasure in their starpower. Everyone knew Allison once did, before she swore off rumoring people.

Klaus picked at the table. “Did he cry?” 

“No doubt he’ll go sulk for a bit.” Five muttered, “But he’ll recover.”

“It needed to be said Klaus.” Allison agreed. “We should be talking to you more.”

He felt that disgusting part of him rise up once again in his throat, whispering. ‘You only started when this happened’, ‘You didn’t even know I was gone’. His throat closed up, Klaus gave them both a nod.

“Breakfast is ready!” Mom cooed from behind him, placing a plate of pancakes before him with smiley faces drawn in banana slices and whipped cream. “I wasn’t sure if you were craving anything today or-”

“No Mom it’s- wonderful, as always.” He gave her one of his trademark dreamy smiles, before she went to distribute pancakes to Allison and Five as well.

Waffles at one P.M. were a good idea.

 

Diego walked through the open doorway of the downstairs kitchen with all the intentions in the world of walking out the storefront to go get some snacks from the local Walmart. He does not expect to find Klaus sitting at the table by himself, staring at a sugar cookie. It wasn’t even in his hand, it still sat on a flimsy paper plate. 

“... Earth to Klaus?” He asked, giving his brother a nudge.

Klaus stirred, taking his chin off of his hand. “Oh hey Diego- where are you going?”

“I was heading to the store but uh- shouldn’t you be upstairs?”

“Oh yeah well- Mary really wants twinkies so I’ve been trying to compromise.” He leaned back in the chair he was sitting in with a sign. “So can I come?”

“Dude you know how risky that is-”

“I’m not hearing a no~”

“Get your coat.” Diego sighed, like an exasperated parent. Klaus cried out with glee and sprung up from his chair to go grab said article of clothing. If he was going to go out, he should camouflage the bump as best he could, there was no telling how the world would react to finding out about his pregnancy.

Klaus came barrelling back into the kitchen, pulling his coat on hastily along with his shoes, sans a pair of socks. He bent over backwards, pulling the back of one of his Converse up over his heel, apparently having jammed his feet into them as quickly as possible.

“Okay okay okay-“ He stopped for a moment, forcing a quick breath out, “Phew, oh my god. Let’s go-“ 

“You know we’re walking, right?” Diego mentioned.

“I uh- I knew that. You always go out the back when you get the car.” Klaus nods, proud of himself for remembering this information. He drew the open halves of his coat together, as if he were cold, hiding his bump from view. “Okay lets gooo!”

Diego decided not to comment on how unusually eager Klaus was to walk a couple blocks to go to Walmart of all places. It was at least entertaining, if nothing else, how his brother followed him around like a little lost puppy much of the time they were all together.

Klaus ended up complaining after a while. He didn’t think the walk would be that far. Diego smirked.

In the Walmart however, at least Klaus found ways of entertaining himself. When they passed by the liquor section he let out a forlorn sigh, staring at all of the various brands of cheap alcohol. 

“Keep moving little bro, there’s nothing here for you.” Diego chastised.

“They used to be there for me. I’ll miss you all!” He crooned as they walk away, “And our many, many nights together!” 

“That’s enough, drama queen.”

“What are we even here for- oh, can we get Twinkie’s? Baby wants twinkies.”

“Yes, I know. We’ll get twinkies.” Diego sighed. Perhaps taking Klaus out in public was a bad idea.

They fell silent for a few moments, though it was a comfortable silence that fell between them. Then, Klaus spoke up again.

“You know they never really can put how hard it is to quit into words.”

Diego looked over at his brother. “What do you mean?”

“Do you really want me to get into it here? I mean-” He flicked his head at Diego, his eyebrows quirked, “You’re not exactly a shining paragon of this stuff.”

“Hey-” Diego chuckled, “My body is a temple.”

Klaus wandered over to the twinkies, browsing through his choices. “Oh yes, yes of course, Mr. I-Dress-In-Black and punch people in the face at night.” He snickered, picking out a box of the original vanilla flavor. 

“Well-”

“Excuse me!” A girl came running over, clutching an old teen magazine from several years ago. “Are you Diego and Klaus Hargreeves?”

The brothers exchange a look. “Uh- yes, yes uh I’m Klaus, yeah.” Klaus nodded, still holding his twinkies, “And uh this is-” He places a hand on Diego’s shoulder, “My lovely personal assistant, Diego Hargreeves.” He chuckled, drawing a giggle from the girl as well.

Diego rolled his eyes. “Haha. What can we do for you, ma’am?” 

The girl presented them with the magazine; “Can you sign this? I’ve been a fan of your’s for so long.”

Klaus cooed, “Aw, that’s so sweet. How old are you kid?” 

The girl looked rather flustered already, what with two of her idols speaking to her right now. Klaus and Diego fumbled for a pen for a few seconds, and when they found it, Klaus got to signing.

“I’m uh- I’m 19.” She said sheepishly. “My name is Billy..”

“Really? I love when people give their kids names like that.” Klaus chuckled. 

 

Allison found herself in her old room once again, hands on the necklace Luther had given her. Her brother had been sweet when they were preteens, she even ventured to call him her best friend, but she was afraid of how he had changed, alarmingly, over the past few days back in March. How one revelation had embittered him so terribly.

She hung the necklace back on its place on her little jewelry tree, just as Luther walked into her room. He knocked on the doorframe.

“Hey! Family meeting.”

Allison looked up; “With who?”

“With Five. He wants us to go out and look for Cha-cha.” 

“What? But-“

“Klaus and Diego left a little while ago. If Vanya stays here we have someone to hold down the fort, but everyone is still secure.”

“And Vanya?”

“Can hold her own.”

His eyes landed on the scar across her neck. Allison frowned. “So you want to make sure Klaus leaves the house but we’re going to leave Vanya alone here?”

“It’s not like tha-”

“I’m staying here, Luther.” She said pointedly.

Luther stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. He hadn’t expected this response from her. His mouth opened and closed as if he were a large fish searching for air, before he finally gathered himself and spoke; “A-alright, if that’s your decision.”

“It is. Make sure to tell me what you and Five find.” She wasn’t asking. Once those words left her mouth, she faced towards her old vanity once more, playing with her old necklaces and rings. Luther stood at the door for a moment, as if he were waiting on her to change her mind, but after a rather long, awkward stretch, he did turn and leave the room, pulling the door to gently behind him.

Allison huffed.


	9. Breakout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 1000+ hits today! In celebration, I'll put up a second chapter for today! I hope you're all enjoying the ride so far, as I'm enjoying publishing and actively writing the last chapters for you all.
> 
> I told you Klaus' telekinesis would show up ;)

It had taken him some time, but Haid had built up the confidence to try to kick his bars out again. He’d done it once before, he could do it again. He had stolen a spoon off of his dinner plate, and Luther, the giant oaf, hadn’t even made sure he hadn’t taken anything. Haid had spent hours grinding it against the wall just outside of his cell, slowly, ever so slowly making it into a sharp point. If he did this correctly, he could get out of here with little incident. 

He observed that Five and Luther had come to check on him at the same time, earlier than usual today. This was unusual and, if his hypothesis that they were going out was correct, it could provide the means for his escape. He would have to be quick about it, however, no looking around the mansion for his gun or for the mark. He would regroup with Cha-cha at the motel room and they would figure out how to carry out the mission.

Finally, after a few moments of kicking over and over again, he felt one of the loose bars give. He wound up for another kick, and the bar gave way, falling out from where it had been placed, clattering on the cell floor next to him. Haid quickly seized his sharpened spoon, his arms shaking already from adrenaline, and scrambled out of the cell.

He dashed over to the keypad and pried the cover off just as the Commission had showed them to do in training. Just cross a few wires correctly and- bam. The elevator doors opened.

Haid was free.

 

“Agh, geez these are heavy!”

“Well get inside, idiot, and put em down.”

With the groceries and Klaus’ snacks safely on the downstairs kitchen table, Klaus took a moment to sigh, and stretch, putting his hands on the small of his back, _leeeeaning_ backwards. His back was starting to ache more.

Diego started to pick through the groceries while he did his stretching, holding out Klaus’ twinkies. “Hey where do you wa-” Only for Klaus to snatch them away with a quick, ‘thanks’ and dash off towards his room. “Okay.”

This left Diego to put the rest of the groceries away by himself. At least it was a few moments of blessed silence, violin music lilting down from the upper floors. Diego couldn’t hold back the smirk that formed when he realized it was probably Vanya, practicing in Luther’s absence.

A scream pierces the gentle silence that permeated the mansion, the screech of shoes on hardwood could be heard above Diego. He launched himself towards the door, breaking into a full sprint as the thrum of adrenaline began to pump through his body.

It’s when he’s stomping up the stairs that he hears it. A loud _thump!_ and a cry of “Diego!” and his blood runs cold. Klaus’ voice was pained and scared.

Diego made it to the foyer, easily catching sight of a hunched over, panting Klaus. He had a hand on his knee, and a hand on his swollen belly. For a moment, Diego worried, but then his brother gave him a weak thumbs up.

“I- I threw him..” He pointed to someone else in the room, an unconscious body thrown against a wall.

Diego looked from his winded brother to the unconscious man. He heard thumping upstairs as Vanya had no doubt heard the commotion and was coming down to check as well. Diego scowled. The assassin had tried to escape for a second time now.

He looked back at Klaus. “How did you..?”

“I.. I threw him.” Klaus said again, “I threw out my arm when he came at me and he flew back.”

Diego considers this for a moment. He entertains the idea that Klaus had secret telekinesis just like Vanya before- speak of the devil- Vanya made it into the foyer as well, violin in tow. 

“Is- is everything alright?” Vanya huffed, she had ran all the way down here. She held up her violin as if it were the answer to all of their problems

Diego looked up at his sister and nodded. “Yeah. Klaus got him. You wanna go get me a chair so we can tie him up?”

Vanya nodded, setting her violin down on the foyer’s one remaining decorative table before running downstairs to grab one of the chairs. Diego wanted to get her away from the instrument. Not for the same reason as Luther, but because of Luther. He didn’t want her to be caught with it and face whatever messed up, Reginald-inspired punishment their brother might have in store for her.

The last time Luther had caught Vanya playing music, it had been two months ago and had resulted in a screaming match between himself and Number One. Vanya had cried and Klaus had been so sick that Diego’s temper had caught the better of him once again that night.

He’d found a rope, Klaus was pacing now, from wall to wall. Diego started to hog-tie the man. It was a cruel thing, but he took a bit of enjoyment from it. Vanya came back with a chair, so Diego sat the man in it and continued what he was doing. 

“Oooh, tighter.” Klaus spoke, eyeing the man. Diego pulled a bit on the rope. “Just- a little tighter, _bitte_.” Klaus grinned a bit.

“If I see a boner-”

“Sorry! Maybe I’m feeling just the tensy bit vindictive, because believe me, when you’ve been duct taped to a chair so long your hands turn purple, you remember-”

“Whoah, when did that happen-” Vanya interjected between the two. 

Klaus looked up at her and smiled apologetically. “Long story- oh, I can tell you over dinner!”

“Klaus wait-” Diego started, “This place isn’t secure.”

“Well if the house isn’t secure than shouldn’t we just close up all the windows and scurry into the basement like good little mice?” 

Diego gave him a look, but at the words ‘isn’t secure’ poor Vanya looked ready to bolt. Everything since the apocalypse was new and unwritten, they were in new waters entirely, wet behind the ears and shaking from everything they had accomplished, and Vanya was the shakiest of all.

Not that he could blame her.

“No. I think the best thing we can do for now is stay together and leave the house. Pogo and Mom can hold down the fort while we’re gon-”

Another pair of feet began to descend the stairs. Diego pushed himself in front of Klaus and Vanya, knife already posed to be thrown at whatever was about to come down the stairs-

A pair of open-toed heels appeared at the topmost stair they could see, then bell bottom pants. A concerned voice echoed through the foyer. Diego relaxed, it was just Allison.

“Scared the shit out of me.” He mumbled.

“- heard screaming.” She said, “I didn’t know if someone was overreacting or-” Then her eyes fell upon the assassin they had previous kept prisoner in Vanya’s old prison. “Oh.. _shit_.”

Klaus piped up once again. “So you were saying about going out?”

Diego sighed, saying nothing. He reached behind his back, slipping his knife back into its’ sheath. 

Klaus continued. “Because the way I see it, Christ help whoever comes in here, we’ve got knife throwing, convincing lying, crazy sound-powered telekinesis and the power of ghosts!” Klaus wiggled his fingers in his brother’s direction. “What do Luther and Five have? Teleportation? Super strength? Pfft. We’re good here.”

His brother shook his head. “Yeah, you’re right. It was an overreaction.”

“Wait wait wait-” Allison interjected, making her way down the rest of the staircase towards everyone else. “How did he even get out?”

“Probably kicked out the bars, he did it once before.” Diego reasoned, “Luther found him the last time but- Luther’s not here.”

“I know.” Allison corroborated, “He said he and Five were going to look around for the other one- Cha-cha.”

Diego let out a sigh, stepping away from the unconscious assassin that was once again, tied to a chair in their home. He really just wanted to kick the guy into a dumpster on trash day and end this situation once and for all.

But it wasn’t that simple.

Klaus started to pace again, rubbing the right side of his belly, as if it were sore. The Commission would just send someone else if this guy, or Cha-cha, couldn’t get the job done. This wouldn’t be over until his brother gave birth. They just needed to keep him out of public eye, claim that the Academy had adopted the baby or something, and they should be home free.

Right?

If only surviving till then was as quick as he had thought up a half-baked solution.

 

The whoosh of pneumatic tube sent Cha-cha jumping for her gun. With an exasperated sigh she dropped the weapon back onto the cheap motel bed and plodded over to the small TV stand. She opened the doors, and pulled out the canister containing the message from the Commission.

She almost wanted to chuck it out the window.

‘Pay docked 10% until Haid is recovered. You have four months remaining to complete current assignment.’

Cha-cha snarled at this message and ripped the paper it was printed on to pieces. Rather than return the canister to the tube, she threw it across the room, striking the wall. The occupant on the other side yelled at her angrily, like she cared.

She drew her hand across her face with an tired huff. If she didn’t get that giant idiot back soon they were going to run out of paycheck to dock. It was times like this, she actually found herself missing Hazel, as stupid as that seemed. He could do whatever the hell he wanted with Donut Lady, who needs him? Hazel and his stupid wrist braces, complaints, refusal to follow protocol. 

Cha-cha chuckled ruefully. Perhaps if she planned this right, she could kill two birds with one stone.


	10. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late, but here is chapter 10! I slept in as I have been catching up on my homework for the past week or so, and putting the finishing touches on two of the papers I've written that are due _very soon_. Don't get behind in college, guys, it's not worth spending five-six hours into the night fixing it while wanting to go back and kick your past self.
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy!

He wakes up feeling off. Normally, when Klaus wakes up, he’s sore from the baby kicking, a tad uncomfortable, and a little nauseous. Today his entire head felt full of cotton, his mouth did too. His eyes watered, his stomach actively _hurt_. This was the worst- when did this happen? He went to sleep and then woke up feeling like shit.

“You should tell someone.” Ben echoed his thoughts aloud. 

“Oh really? Tell them what, Benny boy?” He pulled the covers tighter around himself, trying to get warm. It suddenly felt as though a breeze had blow right through his blankets.

“That you’re sick, you look like shit, man.” Ben is sitting on the floor, criss-cross applesauce like when they were kids.

“Ooh? Swearing in front of my little bun? How crass.” He bemoans, as if he were a mother of two children who had outlawed swearing in her house. He wrapped his arms around his stomach as if to cover the baby’s ears from the words.

His brother sighs. “I’m serious Klaus.”

“So am I! I hear cursing limits their vocabulary.”

“Is that why you use so many?”

“Low blow man.”

Klaus stopped talking to rub his forehead, temples aching. He retreated further into his blankets before Ben spoke up once more.

“You really need to tell someone.”

“Allison will check on me.” Klaus reasoned, eyes closed. He was trying to will himself back to sleep, but so far it wasn’t working with Mr. Chatterbox next to him.

_Klaaaaus…_

“Fine. We’ll wait for Allison.”

_Klaaaus, listen to me!_

_Look at me Klaus!_

With a groan Klaus picked up his pillow and shoved it over his head, but it really did nothing. They couldn’t touch him, or rip the pillow off of his head as he so believed they could in his youth, but that didn’t stop him from gripping the fabric as tightly as he could over his head. They just wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

Their shrieks and moans were doing nothing for him, with every cry his head throbbed. Klaus swallowed back bile and reached for his walkman blindly. A solid hand touches his own and-

“Klaus?” It was Allison. 

He sits up slightly, the pillow falling off of his head. His hand was pretty far off from where his walkman was sitting on his end table.

“Hey Ally.. listen I’m not really feeling great..” He looked around his room for the ghosts that had been screaming at him, but all he could see was Ben.

Allison frowned, and felt his forehead. After about a minute, she felt his cheek. Then, she pressed her cheek against his forehead.

“Hm. You’re warm, I’ll go get Mom, sit tight.” Allison said, turning on her heel to leave his room.

Klaus watched her go and snatched his walkman. With a cursory glance around the room he could see two of the ghosts that frequented his room were back, but they were silent for the moment. He propped himself up on the wall and kept his walkman in his lap.

Mom and Allison reappeared after a few short minutes. Mom’s hand was also placed on his forehead, he could hear her servos whirring gently when she was this close to him.

“Mm, he’s warm. I’ll give you some acetaminophen.” Mom said, “Allison, there’s a box in the bathroom-”

“Why can’t I have Advil?” Klaus piped up.

“You’d have to eat.” Ben warned, not that anyone besides Klaus could hear him.

“Because Advil is an anti-inflammatory sweetheart, you’re six months pregnant, almost seven!” She smiled at him, sitting down on the edge of his bed while they waited on Allison.

“Right.” He muttered, swiping a hand across his face. He felt a sharp jab in his side and put a hand to it, and the jab was followed by two more kicks. It put a smile on his face.

“Are you alright dear?” Mom questioned.

“Oh- yeah. She’s just moving.” He looked up at Mom. He knew she was a robot, but like Diego said, she must have evolved or something. Grown emotions of her own. “You uh… you wanna feel?”

Mom smiled her big, signature smile at him. “I would love to dear. I never got to with Allison.” She looked almost wistful when she said that, and for a moment Klaus felt vindicated in his beliefs.

He took the robot’s hand and placed it against his left side, where he could feel Mary jab him again. Grace tilted her head to the side a bit, feeling the baby inside of her adopted son kick.

“What does it feel like?” She asked suddenly.

He hadn’t expected that kind of a question from her.

“W-well..” Klaus felt like he should have been given a warning when she asked him that. “It- it feels like.. Wonderful. It also feels kind of like I’m being used like a swimming pool and a bouncy castle at the same time.”

Grace looked as though she was about to say something when Klaus suddenly picks up her hand and moved it to another spot on his belly, where Mary was kicking.

Allison walked back in, carrying a bottle of what Klaus assumed was the Tylenol. “Here we go.” She said, in a quiet sing-song voice. She opened the child-proof cap and shook a few pills out for him. “Alright, take two- you should be good for a little while.”

Klaus didn’t say that it probably wouldn’t help, taking Tylenol was like drinking water after abusing prescription painkillers for years.

After he swallowed the medication, Allison and Grace left him alone for a stretch of time. As he suspected, the Tylenol had little to no effect on him, perhaps it dulled the fever, but he still shivered a bit under his covers. After laying there for a little while, he decided tossing and turning in sweaty sheets wasn’t going to cut it, so he got up, taking his walkman with him and headed to the bathroom.

He stripped while the tub was filling with water and bubbles, and as he did so he took the time to examine himself in the mirror. He was nearing the third trimester- his pregnancy was coming to a close. He wouldn’t be able to hide it out in public anymore as his belly went from a small pooch that could be reasoned away with ‘bloating’, to a suspicious beer belly. It couldn’t hide behind his coat or vest anymore. He would be stranded in the academy for the last three months of his pregnancy. Joy.

Klaus sighed, palm flat against his belly. “You’re probably tired of being in there _liebe_. Apartment isn't that big.” He felt a kick in reply.

Klaus rolled his neck, stepped into the bathtub full of bubbles and warm water, sunk down and relaxed. For a moment, his head stopped throbbing as badly as it had a few moments before. He let out a sigh, head hanging over the lip of the tub. His stomach still hurt, but he couldn’t tell if it was from Mary’s constant kicking or from whatever bug he’d picked up from somewhere.

_Klaus, please listen to me…_

_Klaus, you’re here! Please help me!_

_Klaus, I need you! Klaus!_

_Klaus! Klaaaaaaus!_

He reached out a soap-and-bubble covered hand at lightning speed and snapped his headphones over his ears. Instantly, Gianni & Kyle’s _5 Shots_ blared in his ears over whatever sounds the ghosts could possibly make. He closed his eyes once more and sank back down into his bubbly oasis.

 

Once upon a time, Hazel had told a receptionist that her name was short for ‘Charity’. At the time it had been a joke, but now that she was standing outside of the Umbrella Academy for the third time in her career she felt as if she were doing charity work. She’d be storming in alone to save some idiot recruit, if that wasn’t charitable, well then Cha-cha didn’t know what was.

The truth was she no longer remembered her name anyways.

She took inventory of everything in her possession; gun, briefcase, rope, knife and box cutter. The knife and box cutter might have been overkill, but with the Hargreeves family she wouldn’t be taking any chances. She would be collecting Haid tonight- and finishing the mission.

The briefcase she deposited in the bushes, tossing protocol to the wind. Hazel had, that had gotten them into this mess, but what would she do with it, if she carried it with her? She wouldn’t be able to climb, run or sneak around as quietly as she pleased. Hence, she stuck it as deep into the bushes as she could, flush against the brick with wet leaves stuck to the leather. 

As was before, the third story window was unlocked and opened, she could easily access it from the alleyway. These kids just never learned, did they? It made her job easier at least.

She climbed inside and found a hiding spot as quick-as-you-please, sneaking between what she presumed was closed bedroom doors along the hallway. When she got to Klaus Hargreeves’ bedroom she stopped, and peaked inside.

No one was home.

With a curious grunt, she nudged the door open as quietly as she could, closing it gently behind her. Her feet made soft thumps on the carpet as she walked towards the closet and- nothing in there either. Just as she turned to leave the room, Cha-cha heard footsteps.

She dove into the closet, leaving the door ajar just as she had found it. She hid beneath a pile of dirty, smelly clothes and candy bar wrappers, but she dared not bemoan the situation yet. For the moment, this was her camouflage, and with it she peered out as much as she dared back into the target’s bedroom. 

A knock sounded, then another. A female voice called out; “Klaus, honey, I brought you some tea!” Exactly thirty seconds after not receiving an answer, the presumed owner of the voice opened the door to the bedroom and walked in, their footsteps making the similar soft crunches on the carpet as her own had.

As the visitor looked around, Cha-cha identified a pair of snow-white heels and the hem of a blue dress. The pin-up!

“Klaus?” The pin-up called out, “Sweetie?” 

She was coming dangerously close to Cha-cha’s hiding place. She pulled out the knife, her hands were steady. She had to be ready to spring up and gut the living poster girl at a moment’s notice if she wanted to get this job said and done.


	11. Get Vanya!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! Chapter eleven!! I hope you're enjoying it so far because it only gets wilder from here!

Klaus stepped out of the bathtub, taking his walkman with him. He slid his underwear and loose t-shirt back on. To hell with putting something clean on, he just wanted to get back in bed now that he was warm and feeling slightly better.

“Klaus- something is wrong, don’t you hear that?” Ben looked at his brother, watching him slip back into his pajamas without a care in the world. “Klaus!” 

But Klaus didn’t hear him, Ben could hear _Istanbul_ blaring through his brother’s headphones. The other ghosts around Ben simply wandered around aimlessly, knowing they were being ignored, but Ben wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“Klaus!” He tried again as Klaus opened the bathroom door, now that he has his pajama pants on. “Klaus, I heard something-“ He swiped at Klaus’ shoulder, but his hand aggravatingly slipped right through him. 

Ben saw her first. 

“Klaus turn around!”

This time, he makes physical contact with Klaus’ shoulder, and he slips his headphones off just as Cha-cha makes a break for them, her heels thundering angrily down the hallway towards them both. Klaus tried to break into a run, he gasps a little, he moves as if he were about to bolt, but he slips on the hem of his pajama pants and crashes painfully to the floor.

“Get up Klaus!” Ben urges, but Klaus is winded, and pained. 

His brother lets out a low groan, he hit his chin on the way down, his wrists hurt from bracing himself and worst, his stomach met the floor before he did.

“ _Ugh-_ Mary-“ 

“Stay on the fucking ground Hargreeves.” Heels clicked closer along the hardwood, cold metal pressed itself to the back of his head, “Or I’ll splatter your annoying brains all over these.. frankly very nice hardwood floors.”

Klaus let out a nervous laugh. “Wait- you didn’t even ask for my safeword-” She jabbed the back of his head with the barrel of her handgun, hard. “Ow- what the fuck do you want?”

“Take me to Haid.” She yanked him up off the floor, keeping the gun pressed to him, “You bolt, I fire. I’ve never missed this close.”

“Yeah-“ He groaned, “But you can't hit a naked guy rolling off a bed for sh- ow!” She shoved the gun as hard as she could into his side, “Okay okay-“

They advanced slowly through the house, going up stairs, going down stairs, through long hallways. Klaus felt cold sweat break out on his forehead and back, his shirt and pants were sticking to him as if by glue, hair plastered to his forehead. His chin and wrists hurt, pain blossomed in his belly once again.

“Klaus, she killed mom. Conjure me!” Ben pleaded, “She’s gonna kill you too!”

Klaus didn’t say anything for the moment. He’d been able to hold it together once around these narks long enough to intimidate them, but he had the feeling that the Zoya Papova trick wouldn’t work twice.

Speaking of Zoya Papova, he could hear her yammering away in Russian right behind them. Good background ambiance, it took him right back to when he was sobbing in the motel closet, convinced he was dying.

When they came to the foyer, where they could reach Vanya’s old prison and free Cha-cha’s little death assistant, they were met with Luther.

“Luther!” Klaus shrieked, feeling Cha-cha press the barrel of the gun hard onto his belly.

“Don’t move, or the kid dies, and you’ll get to hold your brother while he bleeds out.” She threatened.

And so Luther, big, reliable, idiot Luther, froze up on the spot as Klaus and Cha-cha shuffled towards the elevator.

“Tell him to get Vanya!” Ben threw out.

Klaus figured it might be worth a shot.

They were shuffling into the elevator now, when Klaus jerked in Cha-cha’s tight grip. “Get Vanya!” He cries to Luther, muscles of his jaw aching, just as the doors were shutting; “Get Vanya!”

Cha-cha yanked him back when the door shut. They began to descend.

“God you’re loud.” She muttered. “Should’ve killed you when we had the chance.”

“What the hell do you even want? What’s the point in killing me?” Klaus demanded, but his demands sounded more like pleas, or whimpers.

“Are you kidding? The birth of that thing leads to a whole slew of problems!” Cha-cha began to explain, prodding his belly with her gun as if it were a pointer and he were a specimen, “If the Commission allows its’ birth, it ends Western civilization as we know it and destabilizes the rest of the world too!”

“Wha- But how? She’s just a baby-“

“Yeah, yeah, it is just a baby. Gotta be nipped in the bud before it becomes a world ending menace. Should’ve done that to all of you, but the Commission needed you to trigger the Apocalypse.. and that worked out so well for them.” Cha-cha muttered. Perhaps she was shaking her head. Klaus didn’t dare look back to check.

“So-“ he swallowed hard, “What uh- what are you gonna do once we get down there?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” She chuckled, “You’re gonna die.”

Klaus felt sick.

 

The Handler began reading over several documents regarding their most pressing case, as he had begun doing so when he was stressed. He was eager to prove himself to his superiors after his promotion.

On the file, right before his eyes he watched the typed print change from ‘healthy full-term delivery’ to ‘premature birth’. His eyebrows shot up, and as did he, right up from his seat.

“Oh no. This won’t do. This won’t do at all.”

 

She was teasing her fingers along her violin case, debating on whether she should risk a practice with Luther in the Academy when her door was thrown open, the hinges creaking dangerously. In her doorway was a huffing, red-faced Luther.

“Come with me! Now!” He barked.

In fear, she dropped her instrument and followed him as fast as she could. Vanya’s heart pounded, like it were about to crack open her ribs and leap from her chest, but she stayed as quiet and demure as she could.

She hated it.

“Quick, the foyer, they’ve got him in your cell-“

“W-“ She felt her eyes widen, “who?”

“Klaus- Klaus they snuck in and grabbed Klaus!” Luther yelled, “And I froze!” 

Vanya nearly jumped as his voice rose. She trembled in place, while Luther angrily pressed the button on the elevator to make it come up. Over and over he pressed as if that would make it go faster. One by one, her other siblings joined them down in the foyer.

“I’m gonna kill her this time.” Diego muttered, holding a knife up to the light.

There was a look in Allison’s eyes, as if she were wrestling with something inside of herself.

Five and Pogo carted the mangled body of Grace back down to the basement for repairs once again. Vanya nearly gasped when she saw her mother, gashes and dark liquid spilling from her once again.

Luther looked at her. He had a look, a sick look, full of fury and pain. “Do it.” He said.

“W-what?” 

“Use your powers.”

“I- uh-“

“It’s okay Vanya.” Diego piped up.

“You won’t hurt us.” Allison encouraged.

The elevator rumbled. They began to file in. They all stood in the elevator, silently. Seething. Vanya began to hum _Ode to Joy_.


	12. Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry I've been away, finals have started and I've been pretty busy, but I'm back with a very late update for chapter 12! I've finally found the time to edit the following chapters and write the final chapters as well! This is so exciting! I hope you're all excited as well!
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

Vanya’s hum seemed to reverberate off of the walls of the elevator into their very bones. It echoed through their heads and rattled their rib cages, the sound waves almost visible. Vanya seemed completely unperturbed by this, in deep concentration.

Luther picked up that she must have been practicing, to have this level of control. She didn’t care.

The doors to the elevator scrolled open to the sound of Klaus’ voice begging.

“Christ keep away from me! I’ll give you whatever you want just- fuck- please!” He sounded pained.

The sound was about to boil over in Vanya, she saw the glint of a gun but she needed more time to build, she just needed more time-

“I heard a rumor; that your guns jammed.” 

Click. Click click.

It was all the time she needed.

Vanya unleashed a psionic wave, directing the energy out and forward. Despite her best efforts, she heard the impact of her siblings hitting the walls of the elevator, but it threw both Cha-cha and the newly freed Haid back, both hitting the wall hard, the room briefly echoing with the sound of flesh and bone hitting concrete, a warm, spattering sound.

And as soon as the event had started, it ended, all of the kinetic energy leaving Vanya in that one, giant burst, and she bent double, huffing for a moment. She coughed a bit, everyone behind her groaning.

“Is everyone okay?” Diego croaked out.

Allison and Luther groaned in agreement, Vanya let out another gasp and nods for him, though she wasn’t too sure he could see it. However, a moment later Diego says; “Alright- Klaus?”

“I’m here-” Klaus’ voice comes from a little ways into the room. Vanya felt her heartbeat pick up. Had she hurt him? “And um- I’m hurt.”

“‘M coming-” Diego is suddenly next to her, pushing his way past her despite Allison and Luther still recovering from her blast on the ground. He braces himself against the elevator doorway and for a moment, Vanya worries that he might fall over, but then Diego continues into the room, ducking around to find Klaus.

When Klaus sees Diego, it’s like Christmas.

“Oh- Diego!” He reaches for him like a baby reaches for its’ mother.

“Where does it hurt?” He demands gruffly. He gets down on his knees with his brother, taking one of his hands but hesitant to touch him. What if he made any existing hurts worse?

“I- I fell but that’s not- that’s not the problem I- I’m having cramps in my- in my-” He placed a hand on his belly, sniffling. “Christ Diego, fuck fuck fuck-”

Diego shook his head. “No it’s just another close call-” Diego stood, and scooped his brother up in his arms. “It’s another close call, you’ll both be fine.”

“Move!” Diego bellows. He cradles Klaus as though he were a fragile child, close to his chest, protective. 

Vanya and Allison were up, they were struggling to get Luther up off of the ground, still recovering from Vanya’s blast. Diego pushes his way into the elevator regardless, his movement around Number One incredibly careless as he goes to press the button to take them back up to the house. 

A groan sounds off from inside the room.

“Oh no..” Vanya moans.

“ _I heard a rumor_ , that Cha-cha and Haid fell unconscious.” Allison yelled. The elevator doors took their time to close, giving them all a clear view of the two assassins hitting the floor.

The elevator was silent for a few moments, as it had been when they were going down. Now, ever, the air was full of labored breathing. After a few moments, Diego spoke up again.

“What happened when you fell?”

“I- I tripped and I fell- I fell face-first onto the ground.” Klaus muttered, his words sounding pained.

“Where?” Diego asked, his voice hushed and surprisingly gentle.

“On the- right outside the bathroom. Where our bedrooms are.”

“On the hardwood?” 

Klaus nodded. 

“Okay.” Diego nods, digesting this. He and Vanya share a look, something they hadn’t done in a very long time, since childhood. Since after their band broke up, when they were teenagers. “Take a few deep breaths for me, alright? I-it’s- it’s gonna be o-okay.”

Klaus did as he was instructed, but his face was still a mask of pain. Diego felt bad for his brother, the way he was holding him couldn’t be comfortable, even if his brother was clinging to him like a koala.

Allison stopped trying to get Luther up off of the elevator floor, coming around Diego’s elbow so that she could look at Klaus, Diego and Vanya. She looked as if she were about to be sick.

“.. Thank you.” Diego told her. “If you hadn’t done something I-”

“I know.” She looked down.

“Allison.” Vanya piped up as the elevator began to creak to a stop. “Thank you. We mean it.”

Allison offered her sister a soft smile, just as the elevator doors opened. Diego, not being one to stick around for the family bonding with his ailing brother in his arms, shot off towards the infirmary. Vanya quickly followed. Allison tried one last time to get Luther up, only to be batted away by a cranky Number One.

“Just go. I’ll be up in a second.”

With that, she got up and left, following the rest of their siblings towards the infirmary.

In the infirmary, Diego and Vanya were fumbling with various medical devices, unsure about how any of them worked, their hands shook and their minds struggled for some idea on what they should do about the situation. Propped up on the gurney beside them was Klaus, hand pressed to his side, wincing through his teeth.

This was when Five picked a very opportune time to appear in the room.

“Give me that.” He took a belt-looking instrument from Vanya, more gently than she would expect him to given the situation and began to attach it to Klaus with precision she wouldn’t expect from a thirteen year old. Thankfully, Five wasn’t actually thirteen. 

“This is their second attack from outside of the house.” He observed calmly as he worked, as if Klaus and his potential niece or nephew wasn’t in danger, “Third, if you count the time that Haid attempted escape. Fourth, if you count his unsuccessful breach of his cell.” 

Five peeled the paper off of a few sticky pads with wires attached them them and stuck one on each wrist and each ankle respectively, looking up at the monitor expectantly. After a moment, several lines appeared on screen, accompanied by beeps.

“Christ, Klaus, your heart rate is skyrocketing.” He commented casually. “You’re alright now- surprisingly the situation my former associate Cha-cha put you in didn’t send you into premature labor.”

“What-” Klaus stammered, but Five didn’t let him finish.

“You need to be careful.”

“...” They all shut up, Diego bit his tongue, Vanya leaned in closer to hear. 

“I did some reading. All this stress could hurt whoever’s in there- and it could cause you to give birth prematurely. I don’t like either of those, so I’d like to keep the situation under control for as long as possible now.” Five looked to Klaus, “Did she tell you anything?”

Klaus looked at his smallest, he couldn’t say youngest, brother, and said; “She told me Mary destabilizes the whole world.”

Five nodded. “I see. So much for stopping me from preventing the apocalypse..” The teenager paused for a moment, giving his next words, an explanation, some thought; “It could be a case of _post hoc_.”

Diego tilted his head. “Post what?”

“ _Post hoc, ergo propter hoc_ , Diego, or after this, therefore because of this. Cause, and effect.” He said, as if he were explaining it to a five year old, “Did you not pay attention to Pogo when we were eleven?”

Diego would have attacked him if it weren’t for Klaus on the gurney between them.

“It happened sometimes, back at the Commission. They’d send us out to do an assassination that wasn’t really necessary, usually it was a ‘just in case’ type of thing, but in this case I think it’s an overreaction- or a miscommunication. Mary’s birth isn’t the only thing that causes whatever they’re seeing, it has to be more than that. Much, much more.”

 

The room is dark when Cha-cha comes to. Haid was groaning nearby, in the most cliche fashion, they had to come to at the exact same time.

“Cha-cha?” 

She sighed. “Yeah.”

“You came for me?” His voice was so hopeful, so sweet. So naive.

“Should’ve left you.” She mumbled, looking around. There was barely any light in the room, she could only assume the power had been cut off and the only light they were getting was from the tiny bulbs lining the inside of Haid’s cell.

“Yes, you should have.” A third voice echoed off the stone walls of the room they were trapped in. It elicited a startled gasp from Cha-cha, and a muffled scream from Haid. The owner of the voice laughed, “Please, you two should be happy to see me.”

The Handler.

“See, Cha-cha, your meddling has pushed up Klaus Hargreeves’ due date.” He explained, “His baby isn’t due December 16th anymore. It’s due October 21st. Congratulations, you’ve chopped two months off of your deadline, though, if it were me I wouldn’t have taken so long in the first place.”

Cha-cha mentally cursed herself. “Fuck- shit!”

“Indeed.” The Handler agreed. She could picture him smirked right now, in the dark to himself, watching her fail the one mission that would get her back to the Commission, speeding towards her retirement. “Thankfully, I found this briefcase outside, it should help you two get out of here.”

Cha-cha’s eyes widened. “I-”

“No need to thank me Cha-cha. I know you had this all under control. The Commission knows.”

She wanted to punch the shit-eating grin she knew was on his face right off. “Thank you, sir.” She could barely contain her anger.

The Handler chuckled again. “Well, get to work you two. Time is not on your side.”

 

Klaus checked the calendar when he woke up that morning upon finding a cute plastic pumpkin on the wall opposite of his bedroom. Turns out, he wasn’t seeing things, it really was the first of October!

“Fuck I love Halloween!” He crooned in a sing-song voice.

“And you said I wasn’t allowed to swear.” Ben complained. 

“Shhhh!” He hissed, “First rule of being a parent- be a hypocrite.” Ben gave him a look. “I’m kidding, of course.”

He placed a hand on his middle, massaging with his thumb fondly. “What do you think, leibe? You like Halloween, huh?” Her response was to kick him in the ribs. “Ouch! I’m taking that as a yes because, damn that hurt!”

There came the sound of someone coming down the stairs towards their bedrooms, Klaus and Ben both turned their heads to see Vanya slowly making her way down to see them. 

“Hey Klaus.” She said softly, with a smile, “We’re holding another family meeting, Allison and Diego wanted me to come get you.”

Klaus chuckled, “Come on Benny boy, we have a meeting to attend to.”

They met in the library, next to the bar, which had become customary for all of them when in talks about stopping the Apocalypse, and again once his pregnancy had become apparent. It seemed as though ever since they’d gotten together, it had just been one crisis after another.

Klaus took a seat at the end of the couch, so that he could prop his arm against it. The cushions smelled like cigarette smoke and suddenly a craving inside of him riled up, its’ ugly head thrashing around inside of him like first trimester nausea. He took his arm off of the couch and tried to bend forward as subtly as he could. It wasn’t like he was in withdrawal anymore and everyone was ignoring him after he had just gotten back from Vietnam, all eyes were on him now.

It was as infuriating as being ignored.

“So, everyone knows Halloween is going to be happening in a few weeks.” Luther said, once he was sure he had everyone’s attention, “And I need you all to be sharp. They could try to break in again.”

“Why when they could masquerade around in masks?” Five offered, “On Halloween that’s acceptable. They could waltz right up to our door.”

“Then we shouldn’t give out candy.” Allison looked as if the idea was painful for her. She was thinking about Claire, and how much fun they must have had trick or treating.

“Maybe we can still set out a bowl.” Vanya offered.

Allison danced around the subject a bit. “Oh, I don’t know- have we ever given out candy before?”

“If you wanna take your daughter around the block-”

“Won’t that be dangerous? I just got partial custody, I-”

“If you guys are so dead-set on giving out candy I can hide in the bushes-” Diego offered before being cut off by Five’s; “They’d see you from a mile away.”

“Wait I think it’s a good idea..” Vanya tried to say.

“Klaus?” All eyes were on him, and suddenly he hated being the center of attention. “Are you okay?”

The voice belonged to Allison, so he turned to her and smiled, “I’m great! Just tired. I think I’m gonna go sleep.” He stood with a bit of difficulty, being seven months pregnant was doing him no favors in the standing up and sitting down department. Neither did it help with the, curling up in a ball and crying section.

“I think they’ll be easy enough to spot, there will be a whole lot of them, Haid said they’d be bringing a team.” Luther said, as Klaus began to walk out of the room.

“No they won’t.” Five’s declaration made Klaus freeze. “Cha-cha and Haid aren’t down there anymore. I surmise the new Handler bailed them out.”

“Why?” Klaus and Diego asked at the same time. He turned around to look at his siblings once again, he nausea temporarily forgotten. 

“Because.” Five said, “They really, _really_ want you dead.”

 

“I really, really want that guy dead.” Cha-cha swore under her breath once they were back in the hotel room.

Haid sighed. “I just want this assignment over with. I don’t think I ever worked this hard or long on a project back home.”

Cha-cha looked at him with great interest. “And where exactly was back home for you?”

“.. I dunno. Some farm a way long time ago. Before all of this- the tvs and cellphones. I could barely handle it at first.” He chuckled. Cha-cha had a look to her face, there were daggers in her eyes. Perhaps they were from the same era? “W-where were you from?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She said, “We have till October 21st to get this done, kid. They’re gonna be on high alert for the next few weeks, but that’s why we’re gonna strike when they least expect it. The files from the Commission have changed, look-” 

Cha-cha reached into the box containing all of what the Commission had supplied them with and pulled out a big manila folder, beginning to leaf through it. She stuck her tongue out slightly, obviously in a bid for concentration before she found what she was looking for. “Ah!”

She held out the folder to him and pointed at a paragraph. “ _Hargreeves becomes ill for a few days, suffering from vomiting, trouble standing and high fever._ ” 

“When they’re all busy cooing over him we sneak in and take him out while he’s the most vulnerable.”

“When is it?”

“Two weeks from now, on the Twelfth.”

 

The Handler sat at his desk once more, glancing over files to cool the building worry that was coiling in his chest. The date was drawing close, and if their two best field agents couldn’t get this job done and fast, the higher ups were not going to be happy. They had already talked about demotion. 

While he was taking a sip of coffee, he saw lettering rearranging itself in one of the files and he nearly spit out the coffee still in his mouth.

“Those _idiots_!” He hissed, pulling the folder out from the many, many stacks he had put atop it in an effort to try and forget about the pressing situation.

“ _Klaus Hargreeves gives birth prematurely October Thirteenth, 2019._ ”


	13. Labor Day, pt1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't been able to give an update to this story yet. I've been taking summer classes and I'm currently only 12hrs away from my Associates degree, so it has taken up much of my time. However, when I came to check on this account I realized I hadn't updated this work since MAY *facedesk* so I very quickly edited one of the few chapters I hadn't posted yet.

Klaus thought he was done hanging his head over the toilet when he’d officially started his third trimester.

“You know I thought you stopped puking this much a while ago.” Ben echoed his thoughts exactly.

“You know Benny boy..” Klaus huffed, “You are absolutely right.”

He didn’t have the energy for a witty rebuttal, he’d been vomiting since two in the morning. It had been a rough awakening, Mary had been kicking so hard, his stomach hurt so badly, then it all came up all over his floor. He’d nearly cried when Mom came to his rescue, bringing Allison and Vanya in her wake. Since he’d been up nearly everyone had come to check on him, but one of his sisters had constantly, valently stuck by his side since two AM.

“Hi Ben.” Vanya said shyly to the open air Klaus was talking to.

“Hey Vanya.” Ben smiled softly. Sweet Vanya, who cried when they killed ants with a magnifying glass during freetime.

“He says hi.” Klaus relayed for her. She smiled.

Allison appeared in the doorway, still in her pajamas. “Hey, it’s my turn. Why don’t you go get some lunch, okay Vanya?”

As Vanya got up and made her way out of the bathroom, Klaus followed Allison as she moved to take their sister’s place. “It’s lunch already?”

“Yeah.” She smiled apologetically, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze. “How are you feeling?”

“Alright.” He shrugged, “My stomach’s been cramping on and off for a while now though.”

“I’m sure it’ll go away soon.” Allison comforted. It probably wouldn’t happen, but it was a nice thing to wish for.

After sitting there for thirty more minutes, without getting sick, Klaus looked up at Allison, “Hey, I think I wanna go back to my room for a bit. I miss my bed.” 

Allison nodded, helping him up. He braced himself against the vanity, and then the doorframe. He felt dizzy, he felt another cramp hit, breathing out through his mouth slowly. He didn’t want to throw up again, he just wanted to go back to his bed.

“Something’s not right.” Ben muttered.

“What- what do you mean?” Klaus asked, looking over at Ben. Allison looked at the empty air as well, as if she could see Ben too.

Footsteps echoed overhead. “I mean something’s not right-”

“Luther?” Allison called out. “Is that you? I need some help- over in the library-” She lied. She didn’t rumor whoever was up there just yet, on the off chance it was Luther.

But they received no reply, instead of the footsteps were slow. Measured.

“Klaus, go.” Allison whispered, moving in front of him upon seeing an unfamiliar shadow overhead, “Don’t talk anymore, just go somewhere and hide.”

So he did. Klaus turned on his heel and headed towards someone’s room slowly, as if he were just casually strolling to see one of his siblings. He walked into Diego’s room, looking around for anywhere to hide. He’d closed the door, but Diego used the space so damn wisely it was hard to find any place he could squeeze into. He heard more footsteps, and quickly ducked underneath the desk.

Then he waited.

It felt like he waited for a while. Another cramp hit him. He groaned, a low, guttural sound he tried to muffle in the crook of his arm. They were becoming timable, he didn’t like that. Then he felt something warm and wet run down his thigh.

“Did you pee yourself?” Ben asked, sitting next to him, though he wasn’t sure how Ben was sitting next to him exactly.

He put a hand down to his damp pajama pants. That didn’t smell like pee. “No-” He let out a hushed cry. “Fuck- fuck fuck, shit shit! Not now! Not now Mary!” He kept his voice hushed. 

“Shit. You need to get out of here.” 

“Ugh-” Klaus crawled out from under the desk. He stood up, bracing himself against the wall. His legs felt like jelly all of a sudden, his vision when white for a moment. He didn’t want to pass out. He wouldn’t pass out now, he couldn’t. He spider-crawled his way across the wall to Diego’s closet, and slipped inside.

He changed clothes. Diego’s clothes were a bit big, but the shirt was useable, as well as the pants for their slightly larger waistline. He wouldn’t need to zip them up anyways. He stole a pair of Diego’s shoes and laced them up.

“So what’s the plan?” Ben asked him.

“I’m gonna get the fuck out of here.” Klaus uttered. It was simple, humble really. He could do it.

“Are you sh-” “Yes.” He hissed, hearing footsteps again. Klaus held his breath, hoping whoever it was would go away, but they wouldn’t. 

“Fuck-” He stepped away from the door, clambering to get back into Diego’s closet as quietly as possible. He made it in and shut the door just as the person outside the door turned the knob and came in-

It was Diego.

Klaus practically fell out of the closet onto his brother.

“Diego! You gotta help me!”

“What? Why are you wearing my clothes-”

“It’s started, Diego fuck I’m having Mary NOW-”

Diego fell silent for a moment and then; “Shit.”

Diego grabbed him by the arm and started hauling him out of the room. “Okay- so we found the short one running around, but the one that kicked you is still in here somewhere, we need to be careful.” 

Klaus nodded, he understood the gravity of the entire situation now that he was about to drop his kid at any moment. “So we leave through..?”

“The back, my car is out back.” Diego muttered, “If we get in the car we’re home free.”

Klaus snapped his mouth shut when he heard footsteps overhead. 

Diego hissed out; “Shit, move.”

They both made their way as quietly as they could the Academy, guessing at whose footsteps were their sibling’s and whose might be Haid’s. Diego tried to keep him in front, so that he could run if need be, but whether he was front or back made little difference, the assassins could come from either direction.

Footsteps came from the direction Klaus was standing, Diego jumped in front as quickly as he could, but it wasn’t an assassin, it was Allison.

She had a split lip, and a bruise on her forehead, but she was otherwise okay. “Diego! Klaus!” She whispered, waving them both closer to her. “What are you two doing?”

“We’re trying to get out- I don’t know what’s going on but Klaus said that Mary is coming.” He supplied.

Allison looked confused; “Are you sure it isn’t Braxton Hicks?”

“No because I peed myself.” Klaus said, matter-of-factly. Diego blinked at this information, thinking his brother had just peed in his room.

“Your waters broke?”

Klaus snapped his fingers and pointed to his sister. “Yep! Oh shit- shit sorry.” He put his hands over his mouth. He’d forgotten they needed to be quiet.

Allison hissed. “Shit-” She then fervently began to usher them both down the hall, “Come on- I guess we’re headed out back, huh?”

They all three began to make their way to the back of the Academy, Diego’s hands shaking as he attempted to unlock the door. They all piled out and there sat Diego’s car, their lifeline.

Klaus felt his entire abdomen seize up, as if he were in a vice. His legs turned to jelly, he swayed and grabbed onto a nearby trashcan, other hand on his spasming belly. Despite his valiant effort to stay upright, he went down to his knees on the ground, asphalt digging into his kneecaps. He let out a gasp, then a groan through his teeth. Allison had her arms around his shoulders.

“You’re alright, breathe through it.”

“They slashed the tires.” Diego said as he came over, “We can’t- is he okay?” Concern suddenly laced his voice when he saw the condition Klaus was in.

“I- I’m fine.” Klaus huffed, feeling the contraction peak, and slowly begin to taper off. Allison gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“What do we do now?” She looked up at Diego, “You said the tires were slashed-”

“We’ll have to move it on foot.”

“But where?”

“There’s a cemetery we can cut through back there-” he pointed off in the general direction. Klaus could see it well, there was a mass of people aimlessly wandering around it.

“Oh Christ no I can’t-” He shook his head, looking down.

“Yes you can.” Ben encouraged from beside him.

“Close your eyes, I’ll carry you if I have to.” Diego offer, coming over to help Allison help him up. 

“We’ve gotta get moving. I heard Cha-cha screaming about a squad.” Allison said, “Well, not screaming. She just kept talking about ‘getting her friends in the Commission’ to come help her out.”

“And you believed her?” Diego asked, as they began to walk away from the Academy.

Just then, a van pulled up outside of the Academy. All three of them ducked behind a dumpster as several armed men climbed out of the back.

Allison looked at Diego. “Yes, now let’s get out of here.”


End file.
